Getting Rhi Ready

Rhi will be turning 18 at the beginning of May & graduating on the 22nd. We're trying to get her ready for the real world as seamlessly as possible. She plans to get a full-time job as soon afterwards as possible and then she and her friend Nicole are getting an apartment together. We're trying to get her car up & running, get it registered & some auto insurance for her so she can get back & forth to work. She went through her room about a month ago & threw a bunch of stuff away, so I know that she won't have to do that when she moves, all she'll need to do is pack up what she has & move it to her new place.

I'm not sure what we'll be using her room for, maybe it'll just be a guest room, or maybe I'll turn it into my office & have a place separate from my bedroom to work in. Maybe I can even convince Troy to move his computer in there & we can actually see each other when we're on our computers, for a change!

Travel Plans

Troy & I are planning a trip to Iowa for Labor Day weekend & we plan to fly. I just barely realized that we only have one piece of luggage, and it's broken. So, I'm guessing we'll need to find a new set before we go. I don't have a to have a super-nice set like Briggs and Riley, but it'd be nice to have something that will last a little while.

We'll have to fly out of Las Vegas to even be able to afford it, so we plan to drive down the day before, stay with our friend Ryan (who's moving down there next month) and leave our car at his house. He'll drive us to the airport & pick us up when we get home. I'm pretty sure that Tiny is either going to stay at my mom's house (if she can get a long with her dogs), or in Dawn's back yard. It's only for about 4 days, so everything should be okay with her, either way. Dawn will come over & check on the cats for me, since Rhi plans to move out with her friend Nicole as soon as she possibly can, which means she won't be here to feed them & such.

I'm nervous about the trip, but I'm kind of excited at the same time. We had planned to drive, but Troy can't take that much time off & still be able to do the other things we wanted to & I don't think we can actually afford the gas to do it. The airfare is only going to be about $500 total for the two of us, and I know that gas would cost us more than that, plus food on the road & hotels, too. We can fly and rent a car way cheaper than that.

Still Alive

This past Saturday, Dawn & I took a drive to a town northeast of us, to visit her younger daughter, who's in a juvenile facility up there. We talked with her for about an hour & a half, then all of us were pretty much done & suggested that we let her get back to whatever she was doing before got there & we could head home (the drive is 1 1/2 hours).

We stopped off at the local KFC/Taco Bell to grab some lunch, since both of us were starving & it was way past lunch time. It was pretty funny, we've both slowed our eating way down & have started to pay a lot more attention to what we're actually eating & what it tastes like, so we're both pretty slow about it. She got a leg & thigh meal with mashed potatoes & gravy & a biscuit, I got a 3 piece strip meal with wedges. We started eating, each taking a bite, taking the time to chew it up and focus on it, talking a little, judging whether we were full or not.. you know the drill (or maybe you don't, but you get it). About halfway through her potatoes, she looked at me & said, "These are really gross when they get cold." and stopped eating them. I actually liked the wedges after they got cold, and they're the only French fry type thing I've found that I do still like, so far. We both ended up wrapping up part of our meal in a napkin & taking it with us - I truly felt like an old lady at that point, but we able to laugh about it. I've never had leftovers like that before in my life & I'm so proud that I do now.

Making Progress

I was so proud of myself yesterday! I took Rhi out to lunch at the local Chinese buffet & I didn't overeat! I took my time and stopped when I was full. I did find out that I don't really like tempura batter after all. I started to eat my sweet & sour chicken & the batter on the chicken didn't taste good to me, so I put it down after one, small bite.

This morning was also a bit exciting for me. I bought 3 pairs of pants on my birthday when I went shopping with my mom that didn't fit, so after I weighed myself (I've lost almost 15 pounds in just under 2 weeks), I decided to try them on. They all fit! They aren't comfortable yet, but considering that I couldn't even pull them up when I got them home, that's definite progress right there.

In other news, Troy & I (and maybe Rhi, she wants to, but plans change) are planning a trip to Iowa at the end of August, to go to his family reunion. I'm really dreading that long drive, so yesterday, I looked into flying & found some cheap flights to Des Moines, but we'd have to get a ride to Las Vegas & then back home if we went that route, and I'm not really sure where we're staying once we get out there. I think it would be cheaper to fly out & rent a car than it would be to drive, but another downside is that we wouldn't be able to stop in Pueblo to see Garrett. (I'm not even sure that's going to be convenient for him to begin with, anyway) I guess what we really need to do is talk to my mother-in-law & find out what the plan is so we can start making our own plans.

I Like It

I always wanted to be that person. You know the one.

The one that always stopped eating when they weren't hungry anymore, and couldn't finish all of their food, no matter what it was. That never ate food that they didn't like just because it was there, or because they were eating it so fast they couldn't taste it. The person that could eat whatever they liked because they never overate anything.

Yeah. That person.

Guess what? I am that person now, and I really like it. I've discovered that there are some things that I thought I loved that I don't even like, now that I've slowed down enough to actually taste them. I thought that I loved French fries, and they have been the bane of many a diet for me, but I found out almost a week ago that I don't even like them. They just taste like grease to me. My mom's strawberry short cake? Too sweet. Blood oranges? Not good. I'm sure that as time passes & I taste more things that I'll find out more of my preferences.

I had a tuna wrap for lunch, with some jalapeno & cheddar Cheetos on the side. I didn't finish either of them. The chips went back in the bag & what was left of the wrap is in the garbage. I had a very small bowl of cereal for breakfast & a single serving bag of Sun Chips for a snack a couple of hours later. The best part? I can eat what I want to & I eat when I'm hungry. I don't feel deprived, I don't feel like binging & I'm losing weight, too.

Yay for not dieting!

Progress

This city sure has grown in the past 15 years. When we first moved here, there were only 3 traffic lights in the whole town. I can't even count them now & they're putting up two more on north Main starting this coming Monday. Back then, there were stores and businesses only on Main Street, now there is commercial real estate all over town. We have a pretty big industrial park, a new airport terminal, a lot more stores and restaurants and even a new park since we moved here.

They seem to be building apartments and subdivisions almost nonstop anymore and I always catch myself wondering how all of these people moving here are going to support themselves before I realize how much new industry we really have here. There are factories and such here that I don't even know about, I'm sure, because I'm finding out about places all the time. It's kind of cool to move to a town that was somewhat economically depressed and watch it grow and flourish over the years instead of dying.

Memories..

I was thinking back to the spring that we moved to Utah and were living with my parents while we got on our feet here. My folks live on a 5 acre lot outside of town. The kids used to love to wander around in the sagebrush and investigate the world around them. Erin wasn't quite 5 yet & Rhi had just turned 3. She was fascinated by so many odd things that she found out in the yard and would spend hours just checking it all out. Erin saw snakes in everything, from a hose to a stick, he would shriek and run away, yelling about the "big snake over there!!" He never saw a real snake during those weeks, but he imagined plenty.

One of their other favorite things to do was to bounce on my mom's mini trampoline that she kept out on the front lawn, which was tiny, itself those days. They would see who could knock the other one off & who could bounce higher. Rhi was always flying when she was on it & Erin was always Batman. It was pretty cute, and they had a lot of fun on it. I can't believe that on May 11 we'll have been here for 15 years, the time went by so fast.

Too Many Movies

I was looking for a VHS tape that I told Dawn she could have if we still owned it yesterday. We have so many movies anymore that I often have no idea what we even own. I forgot about all of the VHS stuff we have in the bottom of the entertainment center. I sat there, going through things, reminiscing about when the kids were little & what movies they loved back then. It was a bittersweet experience, remembering them when they so young and we were all so close. I miss those days sometimes, mostly, I miss my kids.

Anyway, enough being sad. I never did find the tape she wanted, but I did find a yoga dvd I had forgotten about that she might want to try out.

Living Arrangements

As Rhi gets closer to the age I was when I moved out the first time, I tend to do a lot of reminiscing about the first places I lived without my parents & wonder what her first place will be like. (Erin's first place was the basement of a house we had lived in as a family) I got married about a month after I turned 18 & we lived in a tiny, one bedroom house that his parents used as a rental property until he turned 18 or so & was living in it, right after he finished high school. The bedroom had no heat & I was used to sleeping with the door shut, so we spent quite a few cold nights in there before we decided to switch the rooms around our second winter in it.

I lived in a few places with my second husband. We were actually buying a place around the time Garrett was born, but we lost it when he lost his job & we moved back to Pueblo. We moved into a place with his sister & stayed there after she moved out. That's one of the places I remember the best, not because we lived there for so long, but it just seems that a lot happened while we were there. Garrett was a baby, so most of his firsts happened there. It was a dump & I was a terrible housewife, but it had a front yard & a porch to sit on. The back yard had a couple of Ron's weight benches in it, and he'd go out there in the shade & lift.

Troy & I have had a lot of homes, and we've made each of them happy places to live in & for some reason I don't look at those as being the same as the others, probably because, in spite of being married before him, I was never in a truly adult relationship before we got together. Those are our "grown-up" homes, I guess.

Getting Serious

I've been getting really serious about my weight lately & trying very hard to start thinking about food in new ways, so that I can break the addiction & my cycle of dieting and gaining weight. I'm learning to listen to my body & what it feels like when I'm full and how to take my time and enjoy each bite I take, instead of wolfing everything down in a big hurry.

I remember when I was in my 20s and was skinny and cute, my favorite pajamas were babydolls, not sweats & a giant tee. I spent more time now trying to hide my fat than I do making myself look good. I want to look and feel good again. I'm tired of hating myself & what I look like!!

And.. While I'm At It

I've also been worrying about my brother a lot lately, and I'm not sure why. I feel that the time might be soon that he'll hit rock bottom & want to do something about his alcoholism & maybe check into some alcohol rehab for himself. I hope that when that time comes, his wife will want some help, too, because they both need it so badly. I desperately miss the man he used to be. I miss spending time with him, laughing, camping, grilling, all of the things we used to do as a family after we moved out here. I can't tell him those things anymore, because it just makes him mad, he knows he never does anything with us anymore & I know it bothers him.

I also really hope that Erin never gets as bad as my brother. I hope that he'll wise up and see the path he's walking on long before he gets to the point Steve is at. He has always said that when he thinks he's starting to act like his uncle, he'll be done. I certainly hope that's true.

Just Thinking

Some things have come up lately, within our family, that have caused me to start thinking about what would happen if I were die suddenly. I don't know what type of financial burden that would place on Troy, because I don't know if I still have my burial policy with his employer, or if they aren't doing them anymore. No, I'm not suicidal, so no worries there! I was just afraid of Rhi's ex for awhile, because he threatened me in a kind of offhand way & I took it more seriously than it was probably intended. That put me in a strange place, mentally, for awhile. I think women (and maybe all people) who have lived a life of domestic violence or abuse for any period of time tend to take those sorts of things very seriously, you know? (and no, Troy has never abused me, it was an ex)

So, I think I need to check into things & make sure that we still have those policies & if not, maybe invest in some.. well.. not burial, since we aren't going that route, but a funeral plan of some type, at any rate. I don't want to be a burden on anyone when I do pass.

What Next?

Erin dropped by yesterday, he needed his birth certificate so he could replace the ID he lost in Nevada last fall. Apparently, the friend he's living with is moving out & the rest of his room mates are getting a bigger apartment in the same area. Erin wasn't paying rent, and so, of course, he isn't included in any of these plans.

He was actually looking for a job so that he & 3 other friends could get an apartment together. He looked better than I've seen him lately, but he did smell like beer & it was fairly early in the day, so I hope that he didn't make a terrible impression when he did go into places.

Troy & I went to rent some movies later on, after he brought his BC back & he called me asking if I'd be willing to go to the liquor store for them. I told him no immediately & he sounded like he expected it and wasn't mad. Sheesh, I remember when all he wanted was a Swiss Army knife and not for me to break the law for him. I'll be so happy when all of my kids get their lives together & I can take a break from the worrying.

*Yawwwwwwn*

I know that a big part of why I'm so down & have been taking things so badly with my daughter, is that I never seem to get a good nights sleep. Our mattress & box springs are so old & worn out that I never seem to be able to get or stay in a comfortable position. There are some days that by 5:00am both of my hips and back hurt so much that I have to get up, no matter how tired I still am. You can lie in bed when you're out of ways to lay, you know?

One of these days, after we get out of debt, I really want to be able to buy a new, bigger mattress set, even if that means we'll have to move our current frame into a guest room. I just want bedtime to feel like it did when I was younger, where I'd had a busy day, was tired & lying down in my bed was like heaven. I don't think that's too much to ask.

I Need an Escape!

Things have gotten so crazy around here, with my daughter & I fighting so much that sometimes I'm really tempted to just pick up the phone, make some Las Vegas hotel reservations and run away for about 3 days. We just don't agree on a lot of things right now & I don't seem to be able to just sit back & watch her getting her heart broken over & over again by the same person. I'm not allowed to say anything about it, because every time I do, she explodes, so I'm feeling pretty helpless right now.

It's like every mistake I ever made while raising her is being thrown in my face & she's very angry & hateful. I'm trying to change, but she's not willing to let anything go, so I'm really at a loss. I don't even know what to do anymore. I just know that I can't just keep on hurting like this. Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe, like I'm suffocating in pain. I have to find a way to ignore what she's going through, but with my luck, she'll then accuse me of not caring about her.

Good Times

The other day, Troy & I were in the store, looking at vacuum cleaners, trying to find that one they advertise for pet hair. There were two young guys, probably in their late teens or early twenties, looking around, too. It was pretty obvious that they were buying their first vacuum, because each one would read about the features of a model & then tell the other, in a voice that sounded like they knew all about it, exactly why they ought to get that one. They each had a different model that they preferred, and neither one seemed prepared to budge at all. As we were walking away, one of them saw a different one & starting talking about all of the features it had, and apparently that was the one that won, we saw them with it in their cart a little later. I was pretty amused by it, I guess I always thought that guys really didn't care what vacuum they had, if they even bothered buying one. Most of the men I know just go for whatever is cheapest.

Still Trying

I think that I've been doing fairly well in my efforts to cut back on my eating. I've been making sure that I stop at one serving of whatever we're having, at least most of the time & have cut back on my snacking, as well, and trying to stick with fruits & vegetables when it's possible. I'm starting to think I need to try to find a good weight-loss supplement, maybe like Fenphedra or something close to it. I never thought I'd be in the market for that type of thing, but I really am at my wit's end these days & just want a little help in my own efforts. I'm not looking for a miracle, just a helping hand.

I Need Exercise!

I've seriously been trying to figure out my options for weight loss & exercise, lately. We used to belong to a fitness center & it was awesome, because Troy's employer paid half the cost for us, but the one we belonged to closed & the rest of them are too expensive, even at half the cost. I don't have a lot of disposable cash these days, and as a matter of fact, we're getting ready to get some credit counseling & try to get out of debt, so buying exercise equipment is out of the question, at least for now.

So, anyway, my mom & dad have a pretty nice treadmill & I've been thinking about asking them if I can borrow it for awhile. I'm pretty sure they haven't been using it, they belong to a fitness center & in teh summer, they ride their bikes, a lot. I'm really hoping they'll let me use it, at least until we can afford to buy one of our own. I could put it in the living room, out of the way somewhere, or in the craft room, for that matter. We'd figure it out, but I need something, that's for sure.

Should I?

Our kitchen faucet leaks, right at the base & I've been thinking about replacing it with a new one. I'm just not sure if I ought to invest the money in one that I really like, being that we rent & all & that I won't be asking the landlord for restitution or anything. Ryan just put one of those really nice Moen faucets in their kitchen & they rent, too. I'm really jealous of it, because it has the part that pulls out of the faucet itself & becomes a sprayer & it's just really pretty & nice.

Another decision I'm struggling with is that I want to get my hair cut & colored & I'm pretty sure I want to go quite a bit shorter. I've found a few styles I like & have chosen the color, I'm just not 100% sure of the style I want, or if any of them actually look good on me. I used an online makeover site, that let me upload a photo & try some on. I may post them here & see if any of you have an opinion on them. Should I?

Spring & New Beginnings

This Spring will bring a lot of changes for us. Within our group of friends, we'll have a brand new baby, who is due to arrive just days before Spring itself. Our little grand-daughter will turn a year old & little Helen will be 3, which is just hard to believe, on both counts. I remember when Helen was a tiny baby who never seemed to stop crying & the day that Beth was born, they've both grown so much. Beth is trying to walk & Helen is speaking full, intelligible sentences.

In our own little family, our daughter will turn 18 and shortly after that, she'll graduate from high school. That means that an era that started when I became a mother over 21 years ago will come to an end. I'm not saying that I'm going to stop being a mom, by any means. I know that never ends, and that the worrying lasts forever. I'm talking about having to get up way earlier that I want to because of my kids and being responsible for lives other than my own. I'm not sure how to act or what to do, I've been raising kids for so long, I'm hoping it won't be too hard to move out of that frame of mind, so that I don't drive her insane.

So, while the youngsters in my neighborhood are trying out each others swing sets and scooters, we'll be adjusting to a whole new way of life. Spring will definitely be a time of change around here, for sure.

A Huge Relief

The taxes have been filed, thankfully I don't have to pay right away & can wait until we get our state refund to send a check off for it. We ended up not owing nearly as much as I first believed, once I got all of my business deductions taken care of. I'll be able to take care of it with my own earnings, and it'll only take one pay period to do it. So, yay for that. No more stress!!

I'm super sleepy, I think I'll go get my coffee pot ready for morning & go to bed!

What Does Vacation Mean to You?

I was just thinking about the coming summer those of my childhood & realized that my concept of a vacation seems to be vastly different from that of a lot of blogs that I read. It may that I grew up in a family that didn't have a lot of disposable income & have raised my own kids in the same situation, or maybe we just like to do different things than the rest of the world does.

I've been on two conventional vacations in my entire life. The first one was a Carnival Cruise to the Bahamas, it was paid for by a former friend of ours, and really, it was just okay. It wasn't amazing or anything like that, I missed my kids, the ship was boring, the food wasn't that good.. the only great part of it was shore time, visiting the islands. I'd have preferred to fly to one, get a hotel & just stay there.

The second was in a conventional location, but probably wasn't a standard Las Vegas vacation. We took the kids, we stayed at the MGM Grand, played in the pools and in the Lazy River, visited kid-friendly attractions and had a ball.

I've visited almost every National Park in this part of the country, from Yellowstone to Zion and most of the State Parks in Colorado & Utah, but I've never been to Disneyland, Branson Missouri, Dollywood or Disney World. I've been to the Hogle Zoo here in Utah & the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo & Pueblo Zoo in Colorado, but never a huge, nationally known one. I visited Marine World Africa USA in Northern California, but have never been to Sea World. So, even when I'm taking a real vacation, we aren't doing the things everyone else seems to be doing. Quite frankly, Troy takes the longest stretch of time off to work at our renaissance faire & so do most of our friends.

What do you consider a vacation? Is it a fancy trip somewhere you can be pampered? A camping trip? Just time off from the every day? Tell me, I really am interested in knowing.

Getting Better All the Time

My week got a lot better as it progressed. I was really upset about the way Rhi had been treating me & we talked it out. It's been a lot better since then, thankfully. Erin did try to leave for San Diego, but no one would give them a ride out of St. George. Troy told him that he needs to take some of the metal off of his face & he'd he'd have better luck, this is still Utah, after all. I'm pretty sure his lip is pierced 3 times or so and he may have had an eyebrow piercing, too. So, I'm not having to worry about that, at least not right now.

Yes, we still have to pay taxes, but we'll survive. It won't kill us, we've been through worse, plenty of times. The best thing is the weather this weekend is gorgeous, I don't feel like I need to throw on my sheepskin boots just to go out to the car. I didn't even wear a jacket when Rhi & I went to the store earlier. So, yay!

One of Those Days

This is just shaping up to be a bad week for me I think. Rhi was crashing and slamming things around for about 30 minutes last night & then she stormed out here asking to go to Ryan's house. I asked her what the slamming was all about & she claimed she was just putting away some makeup she found in her room & then she left. Things didn't feel right about the situation, so I texted her & asked if everything was ok, because she seemed upset. She texted back that she was fine, just bored & I let it go, choosing to believe her.

This morning, Ryan mentioned that she was freaking out at his house last night & when I asked why he said he didn't know & shut up. I guess he realized then that she hadn't mentioned anything to me & didn't want her mad at him. I get that she doesn't want to talk to me most of the time, but would it kill her to say she's upset & just wants to talk to Ryan about it? Does she have to lie to me every chance she gets? Why? I don't lie to her. Ever. I did email her & tell her that I was through being lied to & that things were going to be changing around here.

Shortly after I sent my email off, Erin called & told me that he & his friend Colby are headed for San Diego, hitch-hiking at some point today. I'm so not okay with this, but again, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So, the nightmares & stomaches can start for me again, when I manage to actually sleep anyway. I made him take identification with him that has our address & phone numbers on it, in case something happens to him, so we can be notified. It doesn't make me rest any easier, but at least I know that I'll be told.

Not a good week, not at all.

Catching Up

Since you asked what was up, Theresa, I thought I probably ought to post. Sorry about that, things seem to run in cycles around here, where we have weeks at a time when everything just flies by & I seem to only have a few minutes on the computer and then we have another few where nothing is going on & I'm always on.

Our weekends seem to go by really fast with almost nothing getting done anymore. We got so busy this past week that we forgot to get the car inspected & registered. I'm just happy that between our two checking accounts we had the money sitting in savings & ready to go.

Monday, we made doctor appointments for Troy & Rhi for the next day & then we went & got Troy a new 2 year contract & phone on our cell plan. We had canceled Erin's plan a few days earlier & added unlimited text to mine, so our bill will stay the same, but it'll work better for us. Erin hadn't had a phone for almost 2 years, since he threw the one we got him with his plan at his ex-girlfriend & broke it.

Tuesday, Troy went to his annual check up & got a new medication to help manage his diabetes & had a bunch of bloodwork done. I went & picked Rhi up from school early, because she was making herself sick thinking about having to go to the doctor. Sean showed up to go with us about an hour before & then the 3 of us headed out. She was having her first pelvic exam & pap smear, along with getting on birth control pills & having the Gardisil shot. She was pretty upset and angry at us (Sean & I) for insisting that she follow through with it & threatened to bolt several times, but she got through it. Sean took her out to dinner later on, which I thought wa sweet of him.

Wednesday was the day I realized that we hadn't registered the car & when Troy called, I told him, so he took a day off to handle that & a couple of other things. I straightened up the house and did a few other things. Thursday, Troy got up & went to get the car inspected & then registered it & was done by 8:30. I'm pretty sure we did some other things that day, but I can't remember what. I know that was the day I started to feel so crappy, though & that we went to bed pretty early.

Friday was a long day for me. i didn't feel good to begin with, and I had to go & get groceries after Rhi got out of school, so I tried to take it easy all day & not get any sicker. We got groceries and put everything away, then I pretty much just died on the couch until Troy got home. I had the chills and was pretty miserable, then I realized that the front door wasn't shut & two of the cats were out. Jasper came right back in, but Malachite was being stubborn. I'd go to the door & he'd run away. As soon as I shut it, he'd run back on the porch & start yowling to come in. We did this several times before I finally got him back in. Troy & I went & got some dinner & watched TV for a little while and waited for Rhi to come & grab some stuff, then we went to bed.

Saturday, Rhi & I couldn't seem to stop fighting, so I won't really go into it, but I'll sure be happy when she adjusts the the pill & stops being so moody. This morning we woke up at 7:00 to a burning smell. The power had gone out as the furnace was starting the cooling cycle & it was overheated. Troy burned his hand on the outside panels, but he got them off & outside to cool off. It was pretty scary, really. We finally got power back at around 9:30 this morning. And I'm going back to bed now, I'm really tired.

Just Life

Things have been fairly mellow around here since the big breakup. Rhi's happy with her new/old boyfriend and he seems pretty happy with her. It's about the most mature relationship she's been in so far. She's not all crazy when they can't be together. She doesn't always think that he's off with someone else or anything like that, which is really refreshing.

We went over to Dawn's last night after Troy got off of work (I went earlier & he met me over there) and played Apples to Apples. Rhi & Sean showed up awhile later & added to the fun, which was really great. Who'd have thought that such a simple game would be so much fun? We kept expecting Charley & Vicki to show up, because she had mentioned coming over, but they didn't. Speaking of Vicki, she's taking a class on financially responsibility or something & is really getting it together. She's pushing Charley to help her get them out of debt & is already starting to look at real estate so that she knows when the market drops enough for her to be able to afford a home the size they need.

Charley did finally show up, right as we were finishing up & getting ready to go to bed. There will always be a little tension if Sean is there when they are, because his sister & Vicki's brother are in the middle of a divorce, but I think it'll be ok in the long run.

We'll be going over tonight for dinner & gaming & I'm really looking forward to it, because Dawn's making her homemade chicken noodle soup!!

Going Green

I recently found a web site, called Green and More that specializes in eco friendly products. They probably have hundreds of really cool eco products available on their site, from soapstone cookware (which is really beautiful, by the way) to organic baby bedding and everything in between. Green and more also helps support environmental charities, like Oceana & Healthy Child Healthy World, but more than that, this company lives their beliefs & doesn't use any plastic, offers recycled office supplies & kitchen goods and uses 100% recycled boxes.

The company also offers a learning center on the web site with tons of valuable information on living green & conservation from the sources like the EPA & the US Department of Energy along with a blog called GreenMusings, where the staff & public share their "going green" stories. Its a very interesting and informative wed site that I really think is worth a look, especially if you have any interest in conservation, the environment or going green.

Some of their shopping departments:

Gifts: They have a lot of really cool things in here, including a solar-powered messenger bag, so you can keep your electronics plugged in when you're on the go.

Air Purifiers: They have a bunch of really nice choices in here, along with some super-stylish ones, too.

Accessories: They have a solar powered tote bag in here if you don't use messenger bags. Pretty cool.

Gadgets: They have a ton of cool things in here, you really have to see this site to believe it.

Other shopping areas are baby, bath, bedding, energy savings, solar power, furniture, garden and so muchmore. Check them out, I don't think you'll be disappointed!

Arg!!

You know what I find to be really annoying? Those stupid pop-under windows. You know the ones that show up under your main browser window when you close it. Has any developer put out a popup blocker that takes care of those, yet? I know my settings in Firefox don't, I wonder if anything does. It just gets to be a little much, some days I'll be getting ready to shut my browser down & have to close 5 extra windows because I didn't notice them before. It's not like I'd ever buy anything on one of those ads anyway, so I think they're somewhat useless, really.

Anyway.

Troy called me from work earlier & he seemed really sad. He said he'd tell me what was up when he got home, but I'm really kind of worried about him, now. I hate when he has bad days at work, he takes them so hard.

Crazy College Kids

Back when I was of college age, the big drinking game was "Quarters," and I know a lot of people still play that game. It seems the the latest craze in drinking games is called "Beer Pong." It's a game with two teams, and basically you rack between 6 & 10 cups on each end of the table (you can even buy beer pong tables made just for the game), and the teams take turns tossing a ping pong ball at the opposite end, trying to get the ball into a cup. When the ball makes it into the cup then the side who's cup it was has to drink it. The object is to eliminate the other team's cups before yours get eliminated. The losing team has to drink the winning team's remaining cups at the end of the game. It sounds like a fun game & I probably would have loved it in my younger days. Have any of you heard of it?

Grrr

Some of the things that I've heard that went on in Rhi & Kris' relationship (now that she broke up with him), make me want to show him some alternate uses for a Mizuno golf club. I wouldn't, but there's no harm in imagining, is there? Other than the typical thing almost all teenage boys do with pressuring their girlfriends for sex, he was actually threatening to rape her if she didn't give in (she didn't). He treated her like she was nothing to him, at least as soon as he got her to agree to marry him anyway. There were a lot of things he did and things that he said during the 11 months they were together that lead me to believe that he's mentally ill.

Normal people don't honestly believe that they have wings under their skin.

After he started getting angry because she started telling me & her friends what had been going on, he went on MySpace & posted a blog about her full of lies. He claimed that she's a self-cutter (she isn't & trust me, between me & Sean, we'd know), that she was suicidal (she was depressed, but it was about him & that relationship) and that he used the threat of rape to distract her so he could get her calmed down. I read the blog to her & Sean, and when I was done, he stood up & headed for his room, telling her he had a phone call to make & to wait in the living room. I have no idea what he said exactly, but I did get the gist of it & I know that shortly after that, Kris deleted the blog post & put one up about how he was moving on. I honestly hope that he is.

Don't Fear Change, Embrace It

I almost feel like I need to put on some latex exam gloves to even deal with this subject, but here I go. It seems like very forum I visit these days, and even in some discussions I have with people I hang out with, everyone is talking about Windows Vista & how terrible it is. Why is it that, in the mind of the public, every new version of Windows is evil and worse than the last? When XP came out, everyone was griping and holding on to 98, because XP was bug-ridden and slowed everyone's processors to a crawl, so matter how much memory they had... and on & on. I'm hearing the same thing, now, about Vista & everyone is saying how much better XP is.

Ok.

I got a new computer from Dell in September. It, of course, came with Vista. It also has an Inspiron 531s, Athlon 64 X2 3800+ (2.0GHz, 512Kx2) processor & 2GB DDR2 SDRAM at 667MHz. I'm not running slowly, I have had no problems with Vista & it's bugs, at least not any more than I had with XP. Yes, it was annoying to be asked permission to do everything, all the time. At least it was at first, I got used to it. I had a few problems getting my widescreen monitor set at the right resolution, but that was an issue with my video card that I fixed with an outside program and not one with Vista. It's possible that people are trying to run Vista without having dual core processors, or enough memory, all I know is that it runs my games way better than XP ever did, and I played the same games on my old machine.

Why does everyone fear change so much? Why do they assume that a computer runs slowly because of the OS instead of investigating other possible causes first? If mine starts running slowly, I know it's time to scan for adware again & defrag. I keep a very clean machine, I uninstall programs I'm not using, I clean my disk regularly & defrag often, so the minute it bogs down, I know there's something on there that doesn't belong. Change isn't always a big, scary thing, it just takes getting used to. Yes, we all like our comfort zone, but XP isn't going to be what runs everything forever, just like 98 wasn't. Sometimes I think people just won't take the time to get used to a new OS because it takes them outside their comfort zone. They race back to what they know & dismiss the new.

To me, it's very akin to people who assume every noise they hear in an old house is a ghost, when they ought to be trying to find out a physical reason for it first, you know?

What Do You Think?

Have you ever thought about installing a hidden spy camera in your home to see what goes on while you're not there? I never really have, because I've never hired a nanny or an in-home babysitter for my kids, but I really can see where you might want to in that case. I would want to be assured that my children weren't being abused or neglected while I was gone.

I know home that have teenage children that could benefit from one, as well. My best friend's 14 year old is always sneaking out of the house (or sneaking boys in) at all hours ofthe night. She also steals from her mother & takes bottles of alcohol out of the house. Her mom could really use a hidden spy camera in their house. So, while I don't think I'd ever install one to spy on my spouse or my employees, I will admit that they have their uses. What's your opinion?

Busy Weekend

Our weekend is shaping up to be fairly busy already. Today we've already had to run out to Troy's job, because he forgot his wallet there when he came home. Pretty soon I'll need to wrap up Jaycie's birthday gift, and start getting ready to go to her birthday party. She's having it at the bowling alley and I'm really hoping my mom & dad will be there, so we have someone to visit with. This evening is gaming, as usual. Tomorrow, I'm hoping to get the house cleaned up & the Christmas decorations taken back to the storage unit.

We never went anywhere in our big kitchen redecorating venture, so I'd like to sit down with Troy at some point tomorrow and talk to him about it and see if we still plan to. I wish we had a DirectBuy somewhere in my area. It would certainly make getting everything we need for the job a lot easier. Since we don't, I guess we'll make do. I'm still not sure how much I want to do to a place I don't own, you know?

Exciting Stuff!

We've known for awhile that our friends Mark & Sarah (we officiated at their wedding last April) are having a baby, they're expecting in late March or early April, I think. We just found out that another friend, Jeremy, and his girlfriend, Grace, are also expecting. They told their family on Christmas morning & just found out a couple of days before that. I'm pretty excited, I love to make & shop for baby gifts, and always have. More babies to spoil is always a good thing, in my opinion!

Mark & Sarah should be finding out pretty soon what they're having. They're pretty sure it's a girl, but I keep thinking it may be a boy, so we're all pretty excited to find out. I want to make them a sweater & hat set, but I don't want to start until I know the gender. I wouldn't want it to be too girly if they end up with a boy, you know?

Happy New Year!!

Wow, I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted in here. I got a little busy in the past few days, although I can't say for sure what with. I have been somewhat sick over the past few days and anymore that really takes it out of me.

We got home at around Midnight after gaming Saturday night and Rhi was nowhere to be found. She hadn't called me to ask if she could go anywhere, and her curfew is Midnight. So I texted her, she didn't answer me & then I called. She & Kris were sitting at Denny's, unable to pay, because his debit card wasn't working. I told her that she was grounded and hung up the phone & went to bed. She came in about 30 minutes later, wasn't angry or freaking out, so we had a nice, calm conversation about it & she took her punishment like an adult. I was proud of her.

I've been doing a lot of budgeting and planning since the new year started, I'm trying desperately to get a handle on our debt and finances. Especially with Rhi getting married this year and it just being the two of us. We need to rework Troy's withholding, too, so we aren't killed by taxes next year, a thought that's really stressing me out.

Funny Stuff

Christmas here was good for us. We got to spend more time with Erin than we have in awhile, which was really nice. We had a good time at my folks' house and there was no chaos, which is always a bonus, if you ask me. Everyone seemed to be pleased with their gifts, so I hope they were. I know Erin was a little disappointed that his were all practical, but I never know when he's going to pack up & hit the road, so I didn't want to get him anything that he could take with him. I guess if he wants fun stuff, he ought to settle down & get a job, so I know he's staying in one place.

One of Rhi's friends really cracks me up. If you've been reading here for awhile, you'll remember that she dated a boy named Sean last winter & that they broke up a couple of times before decided that they were destined to be friends & not a couple. Well, they're still friends, and it seems like he's always getting a new job. Just a couple of weeks ago he was looking for Dodge Charger accessories and working at Carl's Jr. Now, it seems he has yet another job & is driving a Chevy Impala. A few months ago, it was a Chevy truck and a different job. I just don't get how he does it, you know? Is it that he doesn't care where he works or what hours? Is he such a hard & good worker at his jobs that he gets great references even after he quits without notice? Is it just that anyone who isn't picky can do the same thing & my kids are just picky & lazy? What is it?!

Sheesh Part 2

Rhi did finally go shopping. She bought some nice pigment eyeshadow & a lip gloss, and some body sprays. She also bought an eyeshadow that she hid from me so that she wouldn't have to wrap it up and some deodorant. I let her keep the rest of the money to do whatever with.

Troy bought himself some new Wranglers, a t-shirt with Ninja monkeys on it & an expansion to one of his games. I got Bare Naturale make up (foundation, blush, finishing & an eyeshadow), Lip Vitamins and some pants. We spent what we had left buying Erin a jacket he asked us for.

I missed a call from him last night, I'm hoping he was just drunk-dialing again, but I am a little worried, since he never called back & didn't leave voice mail.

Sheesh

My mother-in-law sent us a check for Christmas, just like she always does. We only feel that it's right to actually buy ourselves some gifts with it & wrap them up until Christmas morning, it is why she sends the money, after all. When I handed part of the money to Rhi & told her that she had to buy herself a gift or two for the amount I gave her & wrap it & put it under the tree she seemed offended. She got even more upset looking when she was told that it didn't include Pepsi, sunflower seeds or going out to eat. What is so bad about being told you have to buy yourself something & not waste the money on junk food?

She did finally take her money & go shopping, I hope she gets herself something nice & not a bunch of crap. I'm still not sure what I want to get for myself, so I'm waiting & holding onto mine.

Good Weekend

Our party was a lot of fun, and yes, my headache was gone by the time we left. I just kept on top of it with pain reliever & caffeine until it went away. There were a bunch of good things to eat, like chocolate rum cake, orange meringue pie, Rice Krispies treats, cookies, fudge, pumpkin mousse, granola and of course, a lotof yummy drinks, too. Everyone enjoyed the gift exchange and a good time was had by everyone.

Sunday, Rhi & I took Kris home & then Troy & I pretty much just relaxed all day. We didn't go anywhere, except to grab some lunch, and we didn't do anything. Rhi had gone to her friend's house, to help him with his computer & they were eating out, too. I really think we need to look into key holders of some type, because she keeps misplacing hers and so we have to leave the house unlocked when we leave unless she's with us. Not that I really believe she'll use one, or anything.

Yesterday, we were just kind of sitting around, getting ready to go to Dawn's so I could take her a hook for her knitting loom & an old friend that we hadn't seen for a few years showed up. He was in town visiting his 5 sons and trying desperately to put out fires and get them back on track at school. We showed him where Dawn lives, because he had asked & we were on our way over there anyway. She was thrilled to see him, too, and we all visited awhile.

Cherokee (Dawn's younger daughter that had runaway on November 30) came home yesterday, too. She didn't really have any answers for her mom when she was asked why she came home, but Dawn was going to talk to her last night & try to figure out where to go from here, so I hope they've at least started on that. I really hope she'll do what she's supposed to this time and stop giving Dawn so much grief.

Getting Ready to Party

Our annual Yule party is tonight. I still need to make my pumpkin mousse & fudge to take along, but I have to look up the recipes, since they're on the hard drive I fried last month. I'm trying to get together enough variety in Christmas music to make a mix CD to take, but I'm having a hard time finding some of the songs I'd like to include (I had them, they're on that hard drive, too). So, if any of you have a copy of "The Little Blue Bell," "Father Christmas" (by The Kinks) or that one about Santa by Cheech & Chong, that you're willing to share with me, before about 5pm MST today, please let me know :)

I woke up at 5:30 this morning with what appears to be trying to become a migraine & I just decided to get up, after lying there until 7:15 & it not getting any better. I knew I was going to wake up with one, I couldn't get comfortable on my pillows when I went to bed last night. For me, that usually means it's already starting, but I just don't know it, yet. I hate it, for more than one reason. I want to feel good for the party tonight, yes, but I just got some new perfumes & I was hoping to be able to try one of them today. I'm very sensitive to fragrances to begin with, and I have to know if I can wear them without getting a headache from them.. if I already have one, I'll never know. Oh well, maybe I'll feel better later on. I think I'll make a pot of coffee & see if that helps at all.

Bringing Work Home

I remember back when Troy worked for the cable company here. He used to drive a company truck & he got to bring it home with him. Sometimes, he drove a van that they had & the kids loved to get in the back and play. They'd sit on the spools of Cat 5 cable and pretend they were working, or having lunch at work or whatever. It was pretty cute.

When he started working where he does now, they let him bring some blue plastic barrels home, and the kids used them for toy boxes for a long time. We still have one sitting in the kitchen, waiting to be thrown out, but we can't throw it out for some reason. I think it's some regulation with the company or something. I don't know.

The company that he's with now manufactures the stuff that goes in fire extinguishers (Halotron, I think it's called), so they gave us a really nice one a couple of Christmases ago. I was really thankful for it, because we could have never been able to buy one like that. I can be thankful he doesn't bring home the other stuff they make out there, I guess! (they make components to solid rocket fuel)

Geek is the New Cool

Have you heard that being a geek is cool, now? If that's the case, then up & coming bands need to start rethinking the way they name themselves. Instead if tough names like "Joan Jett & the Blackhearts" the new names in rock should be on the geekier side.

I can just picture it now, "The Polyhedrals," "Bruce & the HDMI splitters," "Shaman 5," and "The Hax0rs." Can you just imagine the names of songs? The music would all be very techno, of course, and everything would have to be recorded at home, on a computer. It would all be very "Revenge of the Nerds," and I'm pretty sure that I'd love it.

Worries for the Future

The company Troy works for has done a lot of growing in the past few years, buying other companies in the UK, California & on the east coast. With the growth has come a lot of change, in order to meet the needs of many different types of employees, some of which are union members, some who aren't and so on.

I often worry that there will be a big corporate relocation, and we'll have to move & leave everything and everyone we love behind just to be able to pay our bills. I own a home here, that I have no desire to sell and won't live in for many years, yet (my parents are in it). All of my family except one of my children are here and I have fantastic friends here, too. I don't want to leave. This is my home. I truly hope it never becomes an issue with us, and that if it does that we can come up with a solution to it.

I know, I worry about some strange things, but at least I'm not sitting around jumping at every sound I hear! Speaking of which, some drunk guy walked right into our house last night, without knocking. Rhi was here with Kris & her friends & Troy & I were gone. She handled it really well and the guy left. He was looking for the tweaker who used to live next door and thought he was at the right house. I sure wish he'd have pulled that stunt with the guy that lives in that house now!

TV Shows

I've found myself, over the past few years, becoming less & less interested in the fictional lives of TV characters & more drawn to real life stories. I'm not talking about shows such as Survivor & American Idol, but instead Intervention (a show about people who enter alcohol & drug rehabilitation after an intervention by their loved ones), The First 48 (following police in the first 48 hours of a homicide), Forensic Files (showing how murder cases were solved using forensics), and strangely enough, My Sweet 16 (lavish Sweet 26 parties given to spoiled teens).

I get almost instantly bored with the normal fare of network television, although I am a fan of House MD & watch Dexter & The Brotherhood on Showtime. Am I becoming more morbid as I age, or do I place a higher value on the time I spend in front of the television more than I used to? I watch Food Network, The Travel Channel and Discovery, too. I can always find something to watch when I'm bored, I just refuse to settle for whatever comes up first, I guess.

I won't watch TV shows in syndication, especially if I've seen them all before & I rarely watch movies on the premium channels if I've seen them before. I figure that if I like them that much, I probably have the movie on DVD or should go out & buy it. Anyone else getting pickier?

Mmmmm Bed!

I've been wanting to buy a new mattress for awhile. I'd love one of those really nice memory foam mattresses, maybe I'd be able to sleep through the night, without tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. These platform beds are particularly nice, they'd be even better with a memory foam mattress.

I don't want a brand new bed, I love the one I have, I inherited it from my grandmother when she went into the nursing home and I love it. I wanted that bed for as long as I could remember, so now that I have it, I'm not really willing to give it up. Unfortunately, the mattress appears to be almost as old as the bed is, it's at least as old as I am & that's way too old for a mattress.

I just want to look forward to going to bed at night again, and I really don't anymore. I put it off as long as I can, just so I don't have the nightly struggle with sleep and comfort.

Swap Package Finally

My swap package from the Fall into Autumn dishcloth swap finally arrived today! I was given an angel & she sent a really great package. I posted about it on my craft blog.

The living room is almost ready for the tree to go up in. I just need to vacuum & move a broken elephant statue out of there & put the fan away for winter. I'm washing the curtains right now & will rehang them when they're dry. Tomorrow, I'll work on the kitchen. Blech.

Disinfecting the House

I spent awhile yesterday evening disinfecting the house, just trying to get rid of some of the germs and viruses floating around in here so that we'll stop getting sick. I sprayed all of the doorknobs, fridge & freezer door handles, light switches and then scrubbed down the bathroom vanities and sprayed them, too. I bought some of the stuff that disinfects the air & sprayed all of the rooms in the house after that. I did it all again this morning & I plan to keep doing it every day until people aren't getting sick anymore.

We just got all of the information on Rhi's graduation announcements and cap & gown, but the folder they gave us made no sense at all & we had to call the school just to verify what it said & when the "grad fair" was, since the booklet said it was on November 18 & 19 & was for a different school entirely. I'm sure the confusion was why I never ordered Erin's stuff until the last week of school. They need to make these things really clear, I think. You should be able to read a letter or statement from them that makes sense & gives you all of the information you need, but there was nothing like that in there, at all. I think we have it figured out. At least I know that Rhi needs $100 on Thursday to order her stuff. I'm really happy she's the last one, quite frankly.

Updating

My sister-in-law is out of the hospital with no lasting affects. She apparently just hit her head when she went down & got a concussion, which caused some seizures. She's happy to be home and we're all relieved it was nothing worse. The older niece is angry at everyone for not calling her, but it's not like no one told her that Sereena was in the hospital. I did and tried to keep her informed about everything, at least until she got mad at me for not being angry at my brother along with her. My feeling was that she could have called him at any time, too, and she didn't, so she's just as much to blame as he is.

It seems like it's always something with her, it all has to be dramatic and a crisis. She could have just been happy I thought of her, but she had to make a big conspiracy of it.

I missed out on Troy's niece's milestones and getting things like first communion invitations so that I could be here and watch my own nieces grow up, and this is what I get in return. I sometimes wonder if it was a good trade. Sheesh.

Thanksgiving Rehash

We had a really good holiday this time around. It was the best that we've had in a very long time, since Allison came to live with my brother & sister-in-law, as a matter of fact. The thing that changed was that she wasn't there this year. All of the bad memories & hard feelings just disappeared, like someone gave us "Miracle Burn" for families or something. It was really great.

My grandma wasn't lucid, however, which is really pretty sad, when you think about how important the holidays always were to her. For some reason, her doctor has her on Methadone for her pain and it's making her sick and dizzy, so she couldn't even enjoy dinner with us (not that she recognized most of us that day). She spent a good portion of the day complaining about my mom's Westie & wanting her put outside, which didn't set well with my mom, of course.

We played games, drank wine, laughed, visited and had a really great time together. After we got home, my sister-in-law called me to thank me for a great holiday & we talked and laughed for a few minutes. I talked and visited with Rhi for awhile after that & then I went to bed.

My mom called me at 2:25am, crying. I thought my grandma had passed, quite honestly. It was my sis in law, she had gotten sick in the night, gone to the bathroom & passed out, hitting her head on the way down. My brother couldn't revive her, and called the ambulance. He & my dad were at the hospital. I got up, got dressed, called Troy at work to tell him what was going on. Then I woke up Rhi & told her where I was going & what had happened & went to sit with my family.

The doctor ended up admitting her to the ICU, as she had several seizures while in the ER. We're waiting for the anti-seizure medication to run it's course, so they can see if she's still having them. She was talking and was back to being herself when I left yesterday, so I'm really hoping she's going to be ok & that this might be the thing that makes them evaluate their quality of life & force them into a change.

I finally made it to bed last night at 12:20am, so I was awake for 22 hours. I'm still tired.

Woohoo!!

Rhi's out of school until Monday & I'm just thrilled. I am so happy that we can rest up, relax & try to recuperate from the bugs we seem to keep catching. Troy & I worked on the house today & I intend to keep working on it every day until it looks better, so I have a pretty busy time ahead of me, which is fine, really, since I've been getting bored a lot lately.

Anyway, time to get the chicken ready to go on the grill & start some rice, have a great evening!

The Lysol Time of Year

I swear, I need to run out & buy a can of Lysol today. Rhi's been throwing up for hours, and unless it's food poisoning from the tacos they got after the wedding last night, she has something we're all gonna get & I don't want it. I'm starting to worry about her, she's never sick for this long.

Nice.. ummm.. Dressage?

I see some odd things in this town on occasion. We host a world-renown Shakespearean Festival here in the summer, so you see a lot of Elizabethan costuming, plus the Renaissance faire in July and the Utah Summer Games in June. You can see different athletes in different sports-related uniforms all that month. What's odd is when you see something like that in a month like November, when nothing like that is going on.

I was dropping Rhi, Kris & their friend Ryan off at Little Caeser's last night, and had pulled through the parking garage to get back to Main Street, when a teenage girl walked past in full equestrian riding apparel! I could see it if we were near the Equestrian Center, or there was a play going on in the theater next to where I was, but neither of those things were true.

I chuckled to myself, shook my head & drove on.

A Year of Rainbow

I was surfing around today & found link in a blog, to another blog that I thought was really cool. The blog I ended up at was called Year in Rainbow, (Just as a warning, the blog probably isn't work safe, so keep that in mind) and the blog owner, Darlinda, is a burlesque performer who's wearing all of the colors of the rainbow for one year. She started out with red, then rainbow, then orange, rainbow gain & will be switching to yellow for December. She'll alternate rainbow with the other colors through the year.

The part I loved the best about her blog was all of the photographs. They are pictures of her friends & fellow performers wearing everything from leather lingerie to vintage style dresses. It's an eclectic blend of images and people that are so pleasing to my eye. I'll definitely be adding the blog to my reads & keeping an eye on it through the year.

Arg!!

Why can't family be easy to deal with? Mine used to be, at least for awhile. I know we were a super dysfunctional family when I was growing up & that it affected all of us kids, but my mom really did try & she was a good mom. The past 4 years has been really hard in our family. That was when my sister-in-law's oldest daughter came here to live. Their marriage has spiraled out of control ever since then & with that, so has their drinking. She started acting out, got into trouble with the school and then the police and my brother didn't know how to react or what to do about it.

We got into a huge argument with him & his wife (we as in Troy & I) one Christmas Eve, and it took me weeks to recover from it. I'm not sure that I am totally yet. It's still hurtful. In the past few weeks, they kicked that daughter out of the house (she's 18). She tells one story, my brother tells another & my mom is already worked up over it & not wanting her to come for Thanksgiving. I got caught in the middle of it all & am trying to dig my way out before next week. I really, really wish they'd get some alcohol rehab & get healthy, before they completely ruin the other daughter's life. I don't see that happening, so I just keep trying to cope with it all. I think I need to get my mom someday & go to an Alanon meeting, just so we can learn how to deal with the situation, you know?

A Weird Autumn

I thought for sure it was going to snow the other night, but we got up & it was just damp from the rain & very cold. It's been super cold every morning since then, but no snow down here or on the mountains, at all. That's really strange, we've usually had one small snow storm by now, but we've had nothing.

Rho, Kris & their friend Ryan are having to film this afternoon. They were almost finished with their class project for film-making when the camera ate their tape, so they have to do it all today, now. They were less than pleased about that, let me assure you!

I got a new kitten this weekend. he's 3 months old & an orange stripecat. We named him "Jasper Rooibos" for his color and to go with the other kitten's name (Malachite Nightshade). Together, they look like Halloween, I love it! I'll try to get some pictures of him soon & get him added to Catster, but he's still in the hiding stage. So, that's this week here, so far.

You?

Just Stuff

I was thinking about what I'd really like in a house, and I know that I really would like to have a room devoted to fitness. I'd like to be able to have an elliptical trainer, a treadmill, an exercise bike and maybe a small weight system or machine, with a TV & DVD player to help pass the time. That way, we could just go & do our workouts together, without having to wait on other people or go anywhere. I know that none of the bedrooms in this house are quite big enough for all of that, but I bet we could fit some of it in Rhi's bedroom after she moves out. I think I need to talk to Troy and see if this interests him at all, and if it does, we can start to make a few plans for the future.

Urban Renewal?

The city tore down two more houses in our old neighborhood. They were houses that we always loved and would have been happy to have lived in. We think one of them may have been a meth house, because we saw the police there one day in protective gear & everything was taped off, but the other one had been empty for awhile. Maybe they sold it & the buyer tore it down to build something on the land. Probably another real estate franchise or something, since that's the area of town where they all seem to be relocating to. I have no problem with that, I just wish they'd stop tearing down all of the older homes that have such character in order to do it. It seems like very house we've ever really liked it this place has been torn down or renovated into an office building.

Why?

Why is everything that happens around here my fault? A couple of months ago, Rhi told me that Kris wouldn't be coming over here on Wednesdays because that's one of the days he stays home & does his chores for his dad. So, of course, I plan smaller meals that day of the week. I picked Rhi up from school yesterday & who was with her? Kris.

I was pretty angry about it & finally asked her if she had any ideas for dinner, since what I was preparing was really only enough for 3. She went off on me, claiming that she was sure she told me that morning that he was going to be at our house because they were filming that afternoon (which they didn't do, by the way). She didn't say a word about it to me before school, as a matter of fact, she never even mentioned him yesterday morning. Then she claimed she never said he wouldn't be over on Wednesdays anymore & that if she doesn't specifically tell me he isn't coming over then he is. I finally just gave up & told her I wasn't going to fight about it and that in the future, I'll just plan big meals every day & not do anything special for the 3 of us.

I get everything ready to go & was turning the popcorn chicken over on the pan to go back in the oven when Troy walked in the door. He said something that I didn't understand & I asked him to repeat himself. He did & I still didn't understand it, and he repeated himself again & started getting angry with me. So, we had to get in an argument about it because he wouldn't tell me why he was suddenly angry (I suspect he was touchy because his blood sugar was low & he didn't want to tell me that). Apparently, he assumed I was angry because I couldn't understand him & sounded mad. I'm so tired of him & Rhi doing the whole "Oh, I think you're mad at me, so I'm going to strike before you can" thing. If you ask them, I only have two emotions; mad & happy. I feel nothing else, at least in their opinion. It's not possible that I'm distracted, sick, tired, busy, sad or just neutral. Ever.

We got through it & he was in a better mood after he had some dinner, so I'm sticking with my earlier blood sugar statement.

Inking Around

Don't you hate trying to find replacement ink cartridges for your printer? I know I do, and I've had some that were almost impossible to find locally. That's what happens when you have only two stores that carry that type of thing in the town you live in. That's what the internet is for! Seriously, Carrot Ink has a huge selection and really good prices, too. For instance, you can get an HP 56 black cartridge through them for only $15.95.

They have just about every available HP printer cartridge out there & they all have a pretty price on them. They even offer a prepaid mailer that you can put your old cartridge in, send it in and they'll remanufacture it & send it back to you. They sell ink for all of the other brands to, so check them out, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Had Enough

Things with Rhi came to a head last night. I think I was just finally fed up enough to say something. For the past couple of weeks, I can't seem to open my mouth around her without being accused of being mad or her snapping at me. She & Kris took the car to go and get fountain drinks & go to DQ last night, when they got back, all she could do was snap & yell at Kris and then she came in snapping and being hateful to me. I lost it. I couldn't take anymore.

She slammed a Blizzard (that I didn't ask for & didn't want) down in front of me & was offended when I said I didn't want it. I wasn't even hungry, I didn't ask them to bring me one, I had it slammed down in front of me rudely and she has the audacity to get offended? She nearly made me cry with the whole display & it pretty much ruined the rest of my night, quite frankly.

Troy & I argued with her for about an hour about why she's suddenly treating me like garbage again, which she hasn't done for awhile, and trying to get it through her head how painful that is to me & that I don't have to put up with it & no one else does either. Part of her problem is that she gets stressed out and that makes her very touchy & angry. She does the same thing when she gets nervous or excited, too, which has ruined a lot of special occasions for us. I spoke to her about learning self-control because of this. She pushes people away when she needs them & that's not healthy for her. I think we have everything situated. I hope so anyway.

The Sick

I'm pretty sure I'm sick today. It's been building for a week now, and this afternoon it finally hit me. I detest being sick. There are just way too many things I want & need to get done to days days off being sick. I'll very likely be too sick to get my flu shot tomorrow, which means I'll end up getting sick a lot this winter and I won't get anything done. Why don't they make self defense products for illness for Pete's sake?! I don't even have anymore cold medicine or anything, I took the last of it this morning.

Maybe we'll have to run to the store, buy emergency bags of pet food (we're almost out of their big bags & can't go to St. George to get more until the 12th) and some cold medicine. I think we'll have pancakes for dinner, Troy will cook those & I can just knit & watch TV. Blech.

The Rain in Spain

While we're talking about travel in Europe, another unique and exciting destination to visit would be Spain. After checking out all of the nice hotels in Spain, and booking one for your vacation, you can visit Muralla de Avila, which is the fortress wall surrounding the city of Avila. I'd like to see Torre de Bujaco in Caceres, which is a square Arab tower that predates the Crusades and is open to the public.

You could travel to Barcelona (there are several very nice hotels in Barcelona) and visit La Sagrada Família (a massive Catholic basilica that's still unfinished), La Boqueria, an open-air market or the Gothic quarter, with it's many points of interest dating from the Roman era & the Middle Ages.

If you choose among the hotels in Madrid instead, you can visit the Prado museum, the Royal Botanical Gardens (which were originally undertaken by Carlos III & were inaugurated in 1781) or The Royal Palace, which is still used symbolically during official ceremonies & is open to the public for tours.

Seriously, there are some really beautiful sites in Spain, and a lot of amazing architecture to visit, too.

Round & Round

Dawn got online this morning to tell me about Cherokee's latest adventure. Dawn went up to wake her up this morning & she wasn't there. She went back down to get some coffee & was standing by her sink, looking out the kitchen window when Cherokee's best friend dropped her off outside the house. Dawn went out & met her on the deck. She asked her where she'd been & Cherokee said, "At Brandi's." When asked how long she'd been there, she said that it was awhile, so we're assuming that meant all night. Dawn sent her to school & called the probation officer, who then called the home detention officer.

Brandi just called dawn, freaking out because the police just came & arrested Cherokee, she wanted to know if Dawn had any idea what was going on. Duh? She was at your house all night & not home, on house arrest, stupid. She'll be in for 30 days this time & Dawn is having her drug tested again and pregnancy tested, too, if they'll do that there. She just doesn't seem to get it, you know? It's like she honestly believes that her home detention will just eventually go away, no matter what she does, or maybe that her mom won't call the police when she does this stuff. Maybe she just doesn't care.

It's really sad, what she's become.

France!

Another place in Europe that I have wanted to visit is France. I would love to visit the museums, cafes and wineries, and maybe check out fashion week in Paris. I know there are probably some amazing hotels in Paris, from the large and elegant, to the small and homey, and I know you can get some really great deals on them if you book early enough.

There are a lot of really nice hotels in France and the rest of Europe, you really just have to know where to look to find the best deals. The internet is an invaluable resource in vacation planning these days, isn't it? With a few clicks you can see pictures of rooms, find the prices that suit your budget and book a room instantly.

While in France, you can enjoy the local cuisine, visit her lovely beaches and shop at the wonderful markets. There are so many things to do in France, so make sure you sit down and decide which activities are the most important to you, you may not find time to do them all, and you need comfortable and affordable hotels in France to go back to every night. I'm sure that with a little time and research, you'll find the exact one you're looking for!

Disappointment

So, I never did receive my swap package from my partner in the Fall into Autumn Dishcloth Swap. I'm probably not going to participate in any more of them, either, since the girl I sent to never even bothered to post a picture of what I sent her on her blog and I never got anything myself. It seems like an awful lot of time and trouble to do for free, you know? I just don't understand why in the world you'd ever sign up for something like that if you weren't 100% certain you'd be able to follow through, and meet the deadline. I'd feel so guilty if I did that & let my partner down!!

Anyway. Rhi and her friends had a great time last night. We had about 10 trick or treaters last night, which is a record high for us. That's kind of pathetic, but they just don't stop at our house. It's really kind of sad that Kris had never been trick-or-treating before last night. Apparently his mother used to leave him at home to give out treats and she'd take his older brother out. What kind of a parent does that? I used to turn off my porch light, pack up both of my kids and we'd all go. He was so freaking excited to go out he didn't even sleep the night before - now that's a sad thing, especially since he's 17! Oh, and they did wear costumes, in case anyone is thinking I'd let my teenager go trick-or-treating in normal clothes. I don't give treats to anyone who isn't in a costume & I give them to anyone, no matter the age, who is in one.

I want to hit a couple of the post-Halloween sales today, I'm hoping to grab one or two of those wall sconce-type torch decorations. The ones that look like they have a flame in them, I want them for our booth for fair. Rhi wants some of the good fangs, so we'll have to go to The Wizz & see if they have any left after school.

Landmarks

Do you use landmarks a lot when you go somewhere? I didn't realize that I did really, until new buildings and stores started being built in areas of town that I'm used to driving in. I can't see the landmarks I used to use as well now and often find myself getting a little lost when I'm going places. I know that Rhi uses landmarks, she proved that to me on our way to the last renaissance faire we went to. She knew we were getting close, because she could see the Stratosphere Las Vegas landmark, standing proudly on the horizon. Kris, had just asked Rhi if we were almost there & she said, "Yes, because I can see the Stratosphere right there!"

I know I used them a lot more when I lived in a bigger city, I guess I just didn't realize how many I used in the small town I'm in now.

WTF?

I could have slept in today. I didn't have to be up to get Rhi to school, she's off today & tomorrow. I got up at 6:30. I have no idea why, either. I should still be snuggled in my bed, snoozing away. Oh well. I'm up now.

We had a really good weekend, even though Troy's started yesterday (and he's working today & off tomorrow). Saturday, Rhi & I went to a bridal shower for Morgan. We picked up Dawn & Sarah on our way. The shower was a Lia Sofia jewelry party & was the most boring party I've ever been to in my entire life. I did end up finding a beautiful cameo for Rhi, that will go wonderfully with her wedding dress & bought that.

That night, Rhi, Kris, Dawn, Jason & I joined a bunch of friends and some people we didn't know for a Samhain Feast of the Dead. Troy was at work, so he stopped by to visit with everyone on his way out to work. We had a really great time & plan to join them for other things more often.

Yesterday, we out to a late lunch,/early dinner with Dawn, Jason, Ryan and Davy, after Rhi & I spent an hour or so window shopping and passing time together. She was bored, so I stepped into help her out a little. Last night, we went over to their house & played Deadlands until Jason had to get to bed to start driving early this morning.

Today, Rhi & I are carving our pumpkins and I'm taking Dawn, Cherokee & Justin to buy school clothes. I'm also going to get caught up on my dishes, since I slacked off over the weekend.

Germany in October

Another place I've always wanted to travel to is Europe and in the fall, my mind naturally drifts to thoughts of Oktoberfest in Germany. What a great festival, delicious food, fun music and fantastic beer. There are also costumed parades as well as performances by Circus Crone. Sounds like a fun time all around. Yeas, it's too lae this year to plan to go, but if you start planning now, you can get some really good deals on hotels in Germany. The more you save on that, the more money you have for beer!!

If that doesn't excite and interest you, you could always travel to Berlin. October is a great month to visit the famous city, they have a Festival of Lights along with the world class Jazz Festival that's held at the end of October. You'd want to visit the Brandenburg Gates, too, and see a part of history. They have some great museums and beautiful castles, too. I have no doubt that you can get some great deals on hotels in Berlin, too.

Munich is a beautiful place to visit, as well. Munich has a little bit of everything to offer, from shopping to beer gardens, it's sure to please everyone you may be traveling with. You can visit the beautiful St. Peter's Church, the magnificent gardens and museums, go shopping at the Christmas markets and Munich even hosts their own Oktoberfest! Just make sure you book your hotels in Munich early to make sure you get a good price and a nice place to stay while visiting.

Another Busy Saturday

Man, what I'd give to just have a Saturday where I could laze around and recharge after the school week, you know? I don't really see that happening, not between now & Christmas, but I can hope, can't I? Today is Morgan's bridal shower out at her future mother-in-law's house. It's a jewelry party, like a Tupperware party, only with jewelry. So anything we buy, gives her credit to buy her wedding jewelry. The only problem is that I'm so not a jewelry person. I wear my wedding ring set every day. That's all. The only other time I wear jewelry is at renaissance faires.

I'm told there will be lunch, so, at least there's that, but I really hope I can find something to buy for Rhi's wedding that isn't too outrageous. I want Morgan to have something nice to wear and all, I just don't want to break myself doing it. I have to pick up Dawn at the very least, because her car isn't running & maybe Sarah, if she's going, because she doesn't know how to get to the house.

Later on, I imagine I'll have to drop Rhi off at her friend Autumn's house so she can spend time with her while she's still in town (and to pick up her camera that she left there last night). I'm thinking Kris is going to start to feel left out before the day is over and then I'll have to listen to another argument, or Autumn will feel left out and storm off and tell lies about Rhi again, but whatever, it's not my life so I'm not going to worry about it.

Ahhh Australia!

Have you ever wanted to visit Australia? I know I have, as a matter of fact, it's always been one of those places that I'd love to see before my life is over. Every March, in Adelaide, also known as the City of Churches, they have a huge arts festival that I think would be amazing to see. There are many beautiful and affordable Adelaide hotels to choose from, too.

You could also choose to visit Brisbane. I used to have a friend that lived there, and he was always in visiting Troy & I down to visit him, bragging that he could find us an affordable "Brisbane accommodation" in a matter of minutes, so we'd better book our flight. He was a funny guy and it would have been pretty cool to actually have met him, but we never did and I haven't heard from him in years.

So, if you have an Australian tour planned in your future, make sure you check out all of the amazing things to do while your there first, and remember that there are a lot of Adelaide hotels for you to choose from, and its a good place to base your travel "headquarters" as you travel around and visit the amazing continent of Australia!

FiA Swap Topic of the Week

How was your experience in the exchange? Did you enjoy the folks you met? Did you just love the cloth and goodies you received? Please share any thoughts, criticism, and things you loved!

Well, I enjoyed getting my package together to send & making my dishcloths. Paige seems like a nice girl, she said she enjoyed what I sent to her, although she hasn't posted about it in her blog yet. I made her two dishcloths (I crocheted them, since I'm a lot faster at that than knitting), one in a green & cream colorway & another in orange & cream. The soap I sent was handmade by me, I sent a cold process pumpkin pie & a glycerine cucumber melon & some lip balm. There were some fun Halloween goodies included, like little potion bottles and candies, too.

I haven't received anything yet, nor has my swapper contacted me in over a month. I'm pretty sure I got flaked on & that disappoints me, as I was really looking forward to this.

I'm Missing my Health Club

Troy & I used to belong to a club here in town called "Life Phase." We really liked going there, the staff didn't make you feel bad for being fat or out of shape and it wasn't trendy or crowded. I'm a huge fan of the elliptical machine & they had a nice selection to choose from. I fought with that thing in the beginning, but I eventually learned how to use it & built up my stamina & endurance on it & learned to love it. Troy's job paid half of our membership fee and we enjoyed going together.

They went out of business a couple of years ago and we never signed up at another place. We have a Gold's here and another local place that's a little too trendy for me & I've heard bad things about the guy that owns it & his attitude towards people who aren't already fit. I don't want to feel worse about myself, you know? I just wish our favorite health club hadn't closed down, I really miss going & I know that I really need to be going, I'm not getting any thinner sitting on my butt. Maybe I should just suck it up & try out one of the others here in town.

That Darn Cat!

I swear, our current kitten, Malachite, is a total pain in the rump! He's a lot more bratty than any other kitten we've had in awhile & that's saying a lot, because Kaji was pretty bad last year. If Mally gets even slightly bored, watch out! Things are gonna fly, crash, get chewed up, dragged around or stolen. We have one of those hot air popcorn machines and earlier he was trying to drag it around the kitchen by the cord! Yesterday, it was every pencil, pen or paintbrush he could hook off of a table. He thinks everything i n the house belongs to him.

The other night we were trying to watch the Rockies stomp on the D-backs and he wouldn't stay off of the china cabinet. When we'd get him off of there, he'd get right back up, or start looking for things that don't belong to him on the kitchen table. We spent almost as much time moving him & yelling at him as we did watching the game. I'm really starting to dread putting the Christmas tree up, quite honestly!

Worse Than We Thought

I did some snooping around on MySpace last night, and its pretty clear that Cherokee is far deeper into this lifestyle than we imagined yesterday afternoon. Its apparent that she's been getting high for quite awhile, but we aren't sure yet to what extent. We know there's boy that's she's been messing around with & getting high with, too (he's also very likely using her, he's popular & a jock, she's not).

She has a really close friend that's been shooting up, so we're concerned about that, too. We know she drinks and that she's been stealing Dawn's cigarettes, too. I hated having to call Dawn & share what I found with her, this has all been so hard on her health that she's starting to wonder if she'll even live through it, but she needed to now, to many things have been hidden from her lately. She plans to call the probation officer today and let him know what's been going on, and we'll see what he says after that.

Aggravation

I'm sitting here, trying to print Morgan & Roger's wedding invitations and I'm also out of ink. They need to be done pretty soon and I have no money to buy more so I can finish the job (at least they didn't want me to make the birth announcements for Beth, too). I'm doing it as my wedding gift to them and I'd really love to have them all printed & ready to go by Friday. I don't see that happening unless I can borrow the color cartridge from Troy's printer long enough to finish them off. Its just really annoying that it seems like I rarely use my printer, but when I need to, I'm running out of ink!

Things Change So Much

Just got back from court & picking Rhi up. Cherokee tested dirty for marijuana, so she'll do 10 days in detention total and go back on house detention after that. Dawn is at her wits end, she knows they can't go on like this, but at the same time the juvenile justice system can't do anything more than they are right now either. She was surprised that all she tested positive for was pot, quite frankly.

I remember, back when all Cherokee wanted was pink animal print bedding and a new scooter. Its so sad to see her not caring about anything but her own good time, now. She's changed so much since those days, yeah she was a brat back then, but she wasn't like this. She went through a drastic change when she was about 9 or so, I remember Dawn not having a clue as to why she was suddenly acting so differently, and its just gotten worse every year since then. I worry about that girl & I wish she'd pull her head out & see what she's doing to herself & the people that love her before it's too late.

Here We Go Again

The saga with Dawn & her daughter Cherokee continues today. She called me on Monday night to tell me that she'd just finished signing papers to have Cherokee arrested as a runaway, since she's on house arrest & never came home from school that day. Dawn was upset and feeling terrible that she had to do that, but at the same time, she knew that she couldn't keep living like she was, constantly worrying about whether Cherokee was still at home or was coming home or whatever. About an hour later, Dawn called back to tell me that the officer had come & taken Cherokee to detention. She cried for a long time, and felt terrible, having to watch her daughter being handcuffed and taken away. Cherokee never said a word, and didn't seem to care either way.

Now Dawn has to go to court to see what's going to happen next & because her car isn't running, I'm taking her. Speaking of which, I need to go.

An Amazing Place

I often wonder how I existed before the internet. I remember the days before we had internet access, I remember when almost no one had it & if they did it was CompuServe. We watched TV, played games on the computers we had, read and some days I was even bored. Now? I can find out anything I may be curious about, from what Chrysler 300 accessories are available, to how to knit (I did teach my self to knit my using videos on the internet) or cook.

It's an amazing resource, especially if its used that way. It can also destroy lives. I know, because it very nearly took everything I love & damaged my relationships with Troy & the kids for a long time. I was addicted to IRC (or Internet Relay Chat) and spent every waking moment on one IRC channel or another, preferring to be with my online friends over my real life family. I was having a hard time adjusting to a lot of changes in our life & it seemed like no matter the time of night or day, someone was always online to chat with. Troy had just started the job he has now, and I wasn't used to being at home alone at night, I was depressed, lonely and having problems dealing with the kids by myself. I know those are excuses, but to me they at least help explain (to me) why I started to rely on the internet so much.

It took a long time & a lot of heartache, but we got through it. I don't chat anymore. I don't even like internet chat anymore, as a matter of fact. I'm able to see the losers and users for what they are now, and I wasn't back then. I do IM with my friends, most of them are people I know in real life or people I never knew on IRC. We do still have a very close relationship with a friend we met there, but we also know him in real life now, too, and have for many years, he's one of our best friends. I'm pretty sure he doesn't chat anymore, either.

These days, I use it for so many other things, information, entertainment, shopping, ideas, but never for easing my loneliness, when I need a friend, I go visit one.

Stressful Day

We had an extremely stressful & frustrating day around here, yesterday. I got up and turned on my computer, wanting to check my email and maybe play a little Guild Wars or something else for awhile & noticed that my screen resolution had been reset. I have a 19" widescreen, flat panel monitor. It requires a very precise setting or everything is off (its 1440 x 900). It was set at something I would never, in a million years, choose for it. Everything on my screen was stretched vertically, making squares into distorted rectangles and all of the text blurry. Normally, my resolution is so nice and crystal clear its like watching a really good LCD TV, not so much when the resolution is off.

I tried changing it, but that resolution option wasn't showing up for me & we'd been through that before, when I first got this computer, but it eventually resolved itself & showed up (after we had changed monitors). Troy came in & tried, he got frustrated and was feeling guilty, because my only request when we got new computers was for a new flat screen monitor. Her spent hours on the phone with Hector from Dell, getting more & more frustrated because half the time he couldn't understand what Troy was trying to do & even, at one point, asked Troy if my monitor was Blue Ray. What? So, of course, when he was done with them & had done everything possible and it was still screwed up, he was still frustrated & angry & had to take it out on me, so we fought for awhile, until I took a drive & came back & told him there wasn't anything to talk about. There really wasn't, he was angry at Dell, and feeling guilty because he felt like I got screwed over & I was a convenient target.

He tried a few more things after dinner, like trying the other two monitors that we have, but his kept flickering & it hurt my eyes, my old one would have been ok, but it'd take a lot of getting used to. He tried to reset the refresh rate on his monitor & ended up screwing up & having to do a system restore on my machine. He put the flat screen back on it, because I hated seeing it hooked up to his computer & knowing I couldn't have it. I came back & messed with the resolution and got it to where it was bearable & went to bed.

I turned it on this morning & decided to check my resolution options & there was the setting I needed, back to normal and happy again. I can't wait to tell Troy!