Friday, June 22, 2012

It Never Ends

You know, I think that you just get to a point where you get tired of being pushed around, blamed and treated like garbage, whether it's in a romantic relationship, a friendship or even with your kids or other family members. I've finally reached that place with my daughter. I'm tired of being blamed for every stupid choice she's made in her life. She complains that no one writes to her, visits her or sends her money, so I do do 2 out of 3 of those things & she complains about that. I wrote her 3 or 4 emails (which cost me money to send) and sent her $25. She wrote back once, but only to complain about the amount of money I sent, the method I used and everything I had written previously. Of course a good part of that was to blame me for everything that was wrong in her life & use that as an excuse to run away to Oregon to start her life over (more likely to do whatever she please without anyone knowing). I have a terrible feeling about her moving away, but she puts it down to me not being able to accept that she's leaving. It isn't that, at all. I'm used to my kids living their own lives, trust me. I'm not one of those parents who gets in the middle of their business, I prefer to stay away from it, unless they put me there. The worst part, is that she puts me smack in the middle of her business & then gets mad that I'm there. It feels like when you hear about a great printer ink sale, get all excited & go to the store to find out that it's only hp ink cartridges & you own a different brand - disappointed & vaguely like you just can't catch a break. I'm just tired of it all. I asked her to not write me anymore & told her that I wouldn't be sending anymore money to her. I know this won't end it, but at the very least, she knows how I feel about it all.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Waiting on Rehab

Our daughter is now waiting for a bed to open up at the rehab facility she'll be going to. I don't have a lot of faith that this choice will really work for her, since she's kind of being forced into it & all. My best friend's daughter was doing great, finished her time in rehab & got out, got a job & a place to live & then when things got tough, she relapsed. I'm hoping she'll find her way back to her meetings & get back on track, and I'm hoping this path will work for our daughter, but I just can't believe in it right now. The way things feel right now, the stores will be selling christmas scrubs before we see her outside of jail or rehab again. It's sad, she's wasted 2 summers of her life so far with all of this jail/rehab/law-breaking nonsense instead of just doing what the judge told her to do & keeping her nose clean. I just don't see why it's so hard, I guess that's because I'm not an addict or an alcoholic, huh?