See? It's Not All That I Do...

I haven't even turned the TV on today. I'm not thrilled with Saturday programing to begin with, it seems that it's a fat burner review, followed by a dehydrator ad that lasts an hour, and then something for the latest exercise gadget, then another food preparation product and on & on until mid-to-late afternoon, at least on most of the channels I feel like watching. I could find something, I'm sure, sometimes I catch some good movies on one of the premium channels on Saturdays, but, believe it or not, I just wasn't in the mood to stare at the box today.

I'm a little worried about Rhi, though. She still hasn't gotten out of bed & she's usually up fairly early. I know she was out until about 2 this morning, but that doesn't normally cause her to sleep this late. Who knows, maybe she has a hangover. It's not like she'd tell me or anything.

I do plan to have a talk with everyone later on today about the house, because we laid down rules for both of them when we said they could move back in & neither one of them is doing anything they agreed to. I'm tired of it.

Stuff

I know this is going to seem like I must watch TV constantly, I don't, really, I just remember a lot of what I do watch. I was watching the FBI Files yesterday, and it was about an undercover DEA agent who was trying to infiltrate & bring down the Medallin drug cartel. There were things brought up that he had to do to establish undercover character that I had really never thought about. I guess I just thought that you went in with this character & hoped that they believed you, you know?

He started out by meeting a low-level person in the cartel, and making a deal to buy a bunch of unlocked cell phones to use in his "mob business." He had to do this so he could kind of build up to asking about drugs & even told his connection that he was hesitant to even mention drugs at that point, because he didn't know if the cartel person was a cop or an informant or what. That was brilliant thinking to me, it really made him a lot more believable. After a few more transactions he started meeting higher level contacts, until they brought in an interrogator to make sure he wasn't undercover. They were having this interview, and the questions started to get pretty difficult for the agent & he pulled it out by acting the way he believed a true member of the mob would & the guy bought it & accepted that he was what he said he was.

It ended up with him ordering a bunch of cocaine & them screwing him over by bringing 9 tons of marijuana instead, so he told them he'd store that for them, but they weren't getting it back until he got his shipment, and they were able to get enough evidence against them to arrest all of them. It was a pretty fascinating episode & it definitely made me think.

Welcome to the World

Our friends, Gary & Summer welcomed their newest addition to their family this week, little Daen Norman. I'm really excited to see him, I love when our friends have babies. I'd like to get a look at his crib bedding and the colors they did his nursery in so I can make a taggy blanket for him that matches. I still need to makeone for little Cerridwen, since I never got around to making it after she was born like I planned. I'm thinking that's the last of the babies for a little while, anyway, unless Liz & Chris decide to have another one in the near future or someone else gets pregnant.

Anyway.

Troy seems to be feeling a bit better, although he seems like he's being very careful with his food today. I hope he'll feel a lot better with a full night's sleep, I know a lot of it is that night shift wears him out so much these days. Erin seems to be better today, too & Rhi, other than being bored, seems to be feeling really good. They both wemt out on a walk awhile ago, but i'm going to text her in a few minutes because I think dinner is just about ready. I put a pork loin in the crock pot this morning & it's smelling delicious right now.

Poor Guy

Troy came home this morning & told me he wasn't going in tonight. He said that he hurts all over & just doesn't feel well. I guess for the past two nights, he's gotten nauseated after he injects his insulin & last night he was actually sick from it, so he may need a new bottle or something, I'm not sure. I feel badly for him, he'll feel guilty all night about not going in, but honestly, he won't do them any favors by going in sick.

A lot of people have asked me what he does, and it's kind of hard to explain, even though the official title is "security guard" that doesn't even begin to talk about what his job actually is. He works at a chemical manufacturing plant, and along with the security function that he does provide, he takes care of material handling, industrial hygiene, and safety issues, like filling fire extinguishers & taking care of the safety showers. He often fills in when there's a computer problem & the IT staff is gone & also drives the ambulance when needed. I think that the title of his job gives an entirely different impression, and one that really isn't accurate, at least for him.

I just hope that he's feeling better by the time he goes back to work on Wednesday night.

The Shopping Time of Year

We're getting ready to start (and hopefully finish) our Christmas shopping in the next couple of weeks. We've cut way back this year, mostly due to finances, but also because we're trying to get back to where the holidays feel like more than a bunch of gifts waiting to be torn into & discarded or forgotten within a few months. Sometimes, I'm thankful that my kids (or Troy for that matter) aren't that into sports. At least I don't have to become an instant expert on football or golf equipment, while I try to figure out what would be the best thing to buy them, you know?

My kids like music, games, snuggly blankets & clothes. Their dad likes the same things, pretty much. It makes my shopping experiences pretty easy & I'm pretty good at figuring out what to get in each category so it's pretty fun, too. I know what I'm getting for all of them already, I hope they like what I choose. I think my niece is getting a handmade journal & a jar of journaling prompts this year. I hope to inspire her to start keeping a record of her life, so she'llk be able to look back & read about her childhood one day. I'm hoping she'll enjoy it & not think I'm just being cheap.

It CAN Happen to You

This past week or so has been a lesson learned for many of us in my small, Utah town. That lesson is that suicide can happen to anyone, from the best to the worst of families. A 14 year old boy, who was a friend of my god son, ran away almost 2 weeks ago. When we left, he took his mother's purse, which contained, along with cash & credit cards, some pretty heavy-duty, prescription pain medication. The police began searching for him immediately, and his community started the next morning. There was no sign of him, and no one had seen him. Last Monday or Tuesday his body was found, in his neighbor's unlandscaped back yard. He had been there since the night he ran away, when he had also ingested the contents of the bottle of pain medication.

I'm sure that his family thought their children were safe & that they would never take a medication that wasn't prescribed to them. I'm sure the thought of suicide never seriously entered their minds, let alone any other illicit use of those medications. I know this, because we never thought about until the past 6-8 months either, when it became a reality in our lives & even OTC pain relievers became the enemy & had to be kept hidden or not here at all. I hurt for this family though I have never met them & didn't attend the funeral. I know their pain, I have lived it many times in the nightmares that have followed Rhi's attempt last summer.

So, while everyone is looking forward to the holidays & planning what to buy for their loved ones, this family is trying to figure out how to go on without a member & trying to find meaning in their lives in the aftermath. I guess the bigger lesson is to keep all medications, including OTC varieties away from your kids, even after (maybe especially after) they become teens. It could save a life, really, so any trouble that it adds to the process for you would be worth it in the long run, right?

Yummy!!

Dinner was delicious. It may have just been a frozen lasagna, but having it come out of the oven and having good vegetables to go with it was a nice change. Sometimes in these very busy pre-holiday weeks I don't get a chance to make sure we get a good dinner every night, you know? It's definitely fall out there this week, time to put the MBT shoes away & dig out the boots. It's been raining & trying to snow for days. We have snow on the mountains already & it looks so pretty, it's putting all of us in the Christmas spirit already.

The pumpkin cranberry bread was freakin' wonderful, too. The bread is nice & sweet & the cranberries are still slightly crisp & sour, it makes a nice contrast both in the mouth & on the palate.  I'll definitely be making it again before all of the fresh cranberries are gone.

Spicy!

It seems like this time of year makes me want to surround myself with all of the spicy smells of autumn. I went out & bought a cinnamon gingerbread oil for my wall air freshener yeserday & it smells heavenly. That, of course, wasn't enough for me, I had to make a loaf of pumpkin cranberry bread today, so it's in the oven right now, competing (fragrance-wise) with the lasagne that's in there, too.

I bought a box of pumpkin spice tea, too & was happily surprised to find that it actually has pumpkin flakes in it. I can't seem to get enough of the smells of autumn, I love them year round, don't get me wrong, it's just easier to get a hold of things in those fragrances this time of year. Right now there's the wall air freshener, an autumn spice spray and pumpkin spice wax tarts. I swear, those fragrances are showing up in my house like promotional pens end up in my purse. I don't intend to add to the arsenal, but I pass them in the store & grab them up. I think I may be planning for the months when they are gone & my favorite smells are gone. What about you, do you have a favorite that's only available seasonally? Do you stock up? Am I crazy?

Halloweening

We had a really fun time taking the little ones out on Halloween. First we went up & down Dawn's street, while we were waiting for a friend & his kids to get there. Beth wasn't quite sure what to do at first, but she quickly got th hang of things. After about the third house she would work her way up to the front through the bigger kids, get up to the door & raise her hand up, reaching for candy. It was pretty cute, although all of the days of teaching her to say "trick or treat" & "thank you!" failed, since she forgot everything the minute we started walking around. Honestly though, she's 17 months old, we didn't expect much more.

After that, we headed out to the car dealerships, to go to the trunk or treating parties they were having. We only found one of them that was actually going on, which was fine because that was the only one that really mattered, since our friends Brad & Melissa were there working. We hung out there for awhile and Beth got to go to her very first haunted house, which didn't scare her at all.

Finally we headed up to Leigh Hill, which is, of course, one of the more wealthy neighborhoods here in town. We parked at the bottom & started our long walk up. We saw people pulling kids wagons full of trick-or-treaters, which I didn't envy at all, it was hard enough to pull myself up that hill. We made it up to the stop sign, which is almost at the top & went to our friend Ihanne's house for water. While we were there, he decided to head out with us for the walk down. He grabbed a horn o'plenty & went trick or treating with the kids, it was pretty cute.

Beth fell asleep before Dawn was out of the parking lot, but woke up right after they got to her house & seemed to be in a pretty good mood so they brought her out to the circle for our ritual. So, all in all, we had a really nice (and meaningful) Halloween/Samhain. I hope that all of you had a great time, too!

Starburst Stuff!

I finished Rhi's Starburst bracelet (the link is here for anyone else who wants to make one) & went out & bought more candy so I could make some more. I just think they're so cute & colorful, you know? I wish I could get a hold of all of the colors of the wrappers, it would be fun to make them for all of my friends in their favorite combinations. So, I've been keeping my eyes open for bags of them in different flavors than I already have. I know, this seems like something that would be more appropriate for an acne-troubled teen, but I love doing things with unusualitems, and always loved making gum wrapper chains as a child, so this is perfect for me.

I sit here & fold the wrappers while I'm watching TV or talking, so that when I'm ready to put them together, the links are all ready & I don't have to fold while I'm assembling. It makes the actual jewelry assembly a lot faster & more fun for me, too. Anyway, that's this week's crafting obsession!

Blech.

I'm so tired of feeling sick. My head hurts all the time, my nose is stuffed up, my throat is sore & my eyes are watering like a pair of Kohler faucets. I'm wondering what winter is going to be like if I'm already feeling this bad & it's only fall. Maybe I'll just stay in bed all winter, only appearing on the holidays or when I desperately need food or a shower. That wouldn't keep me from getting any sicker, I know, but at least I'd be getting enough rest & wouldn't be out here whining at everyone because I feel like crap.

I just haven't had any motivation to get anything done lately. I need to be cleaning every day, if I don't, the housefalls apart. I have four books that need to be bound & they're just sitting there on the shelf mocking me. I need to get my bedroom cleaned & nice so I can put my new comforter set on the bed & have a nice retreat for Troyu & I.. somany things, so little want to do any of them. Blech.

Trash Crafts?

Did you ever make gum wrapper chains when you were a kid? We did. I remember walking up to the store with my brothers, buying a pack of Wrigley's & saving each piece of foil to add to our neverending chain. I think our mom taught us how to make them when we were on a trip to see our grandparents in California, but I can't be sure of that. Anyway, I was reminded of all of that because Rhi was saving Starburst wrappers the other day because she wanted a bracelet made out of them. I told her I'd find the directions & make it for her if she wanted me to, so I've been sitting here, checking email & so on while I make a Starburst chain for her. I often wonder what other wrappers people use for this kind of thing, or what other crafts can be made with trash like candy wrappers. Maybe I'll have to look it up & see what I can find.

Halloween Party

We're in the planning stages of our annual Halloween party & I can't seem to figure out what I want to cook for the disgusting food contest this year. I've done chicken wings that look like bat wings in the past, kitty litter cake & potty chair Jello. There have been other entries, some years I make things & didn't compete, but I'm starting to feel like I've run out of ideas. I need to start scouring the recipe sites for appetizers or desserts & see if there's a way I can turn a normal recipe into something suitable for the contest.

I  also haven't figured out a costume for Halloween or for the party. Our Troth is getting together & taking all of the little kids in our group out on Halloween for trick-or-treating and then we'll meet back at our gathering spot for our Samhain ritual. The next night, we plan to have our party, so it'll be a pretty full weekend.

Hmmm

I'm sitting here watching a movie that I don't think I've ever heard of. It's called "Mee-Shee: The Water Giant" and was made in 2005. If I've heard of it, I don't remember anything about it at all. I'm enjoying it so far, although I'm kind of wondering why everyone in the movie, which is based in the "Canadian Wilds" has an English accent, except for the characters that are supposed to be American.

I love having all of the movie channels in my cable package, there always seems to be something to watch that interests me. I'd probably love it more if we had a nice home theater, or even our new flat screen TV, but since we don't, I can't really complain about it. Even when there aren't anyh movies to watch, I can always find something, somedays I think I watch TV too much, but then there are days, like yesterday, that I don'teven tuen it on.

Well, I guess I ought to get the dishes started, they aren't going to wash themselves & I'll needthe counter space later, if the siphon comes & we can bottle.

Not What I Expected

I just finished watching The Bridge to Terabithia & I have to say that it really wasn't what I expected it to be. I liked the movie, don't get me wrong, it just wasn't what I had thought it was. Maybe I should have read the book at some point in my life, or something. It was a heartwarming & yes, sad, story. It kept me engaged & interested throughout the movie, which isn't always true for me. I loved the Leslie Burke character, she reminded me of Rhi in her younger years, when she was so ddifferent from the other kids & it was so hard for her to make friends with people.

Anyhow, I'm exhausted today, even though I got plenty of sleep. I'm stuffed up again & my head is killing me. It could be stress or worry, I don't know. Rhi is having an off couple of days & I'm worried that her medicine isn't working now. I have a friend who's going through a tough time right now, too & I'm worried about her. I'm also anticipating being able to bottle our mead today, so hopefully our siphon will get here in the mail this afternoon. I'm excited to see what it tastes like & if it's ready to drink or needs more time to mellow out.

Smalltowns

I love living in a small town, for the most part. There are things that really are aggravating, though, like the smalltown attitude, thing & the fact that it's smalltown Utah & things are sometimes very 19th century. It's hard to find all of the cool things everyone seems to have in the stores, too. Troy uses Micro SD cards in his pocket PC, and we've been able to find exactly one card in the months that he's been looking. I use XD cards in my camera, and I've never been able to find one here, yet.

For my size & budget, there are two places for me to shop for clothing here in town. One of them I can really only afford if they're having a sale, and since I don't want to wear what everyone else is wearing, I either go to St. George or shop online. I'd rather shop in St. George, that way I can see the clothing & check the length on pants and such to make sure they're long enough for me.

I love that we have clean air & water and that it's quiet & beautiful here. I also love the low crime rate & extremely low rates for violent crime, so I guess it was a trade off & really, in my opinion, it was all worth it.

A Costume Contest?

My daughter, Rhi designed and handmade (she even sewed most of it without a machine) this wolf costume a couple of years ago. She managed to completely freak the dog out with it, too!!


Mrs. B over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom, is having a 31Days of Halloween Giveaway, where she gives a bunch of cool things away every day, and for one of them today you need to post a pic of you, your husband or your child ion a costume & she'll decide which one is the most original & they get a cool basketful of goodies.

Technology Rocks

One thing that I noticed when we were helping Morgan & Roger shop for strollers, was how far they've come since the last time I bought one. Not only are they made for more than one purpose these days, they're so much safer than they were when my kids were little. I love the ones that have the infant car seat attached to them, so you can take it off, put the stroller away & either put the baby in the car or take them inside. Those are designed to change to a regular stroller when the baby gets too big for the infant car seat. There's a normal, standard stroller seat under it, so you never really have the issue of the baby outgrowing the stroller.

There are even models now that allow your older child to stand behind the seat and safely ride that way, some even have a little seat forthem to sit on if they get tired of standing. That really would have come inhandy when mine were little, poor Erin would get so tired at times & we'd have to carry him or sit down & rest awhile with him. We've really come a long way regarding safety & our children in the past 20 years or so, you know?

I Might Be Giving Up

I remember a time when my brother liked to get out & do things. He always wanted to go hiking or camping. It seemed to be him that came up with all of the ideas for weekend excursions to this place or that, to look for artifacts from an old mine or arrowheads in the desert. That was after he'd finished drug rehab and moved here, to Utah, before he met his current wife. For awhile, even after they got married, we still had our annual family camping trip, which we did near the 4th of July, so that we could celebrate that holiday together.

I remember the last camping trip we took together. His wife started complaining after the first day that she was missing out on her soaps and by the afternoon of the 2nd day, they were griping to go home immediately. She made it sound like it was because she was going to miss all of that TV & she couldn't survive without knowing what was going on in her little fantasy world on whatever soap opera she was addicted to at the time. What it really was, was that they had run out of beer that morning.

Their marriage revolves around the drinking. It's the only thing they really seem to do anymore. They have an 11 year old daughter that has no concept of who her daddy really is, because I doubt she's ever seen him truly sober & I know her mother isn't ever sober, especially since she starts her mornings off with the beer that was left when they went to bed the night before. They come to family holiday meals, most of the time they bring their beer with them, they drink it all & then it's time to go home and yes, they drive after they've been drinking, with my niece in the car.

I'm starting to feel like I want to give up on him, especially since he isn't willing to go through alcohol rehab of any type. It breaks my heart to see him this way. It hurts my kids to remember their uncle, and the way he cared about them & played with them when they were really little, before they started calling him their "Drunkle." I keep caring because I love my niece & she needs someone, but I have started distancing myself from my brother & sister-in-law & I'll probably continue to. I can't watch him killing himself anymore. I just can't.

Life Comes at You Fast

That commercial isn't kidding. Yesterday, Troy went to his doctor appointment for a two week follow up on a medication he had just started and came home with a prescription for insulin. I really wasn't expecting it & it hit me pretty hard. It feels like everything in our life changed at that moment, you know? Questions were rolling around in my head, with me wondering if he'll be able to get a passport still, and if he can, if he can handle a transatlantic flight and dumb stuff like that. Those were all masking my actual fear that the insulin isn't going to work & he won't make it through this. I started crying by the time we got to the store& we had to sit in the car & talk about everything before could even think about going inside & facing reality. I'm not great with it all, but I know it's the way life is & I'm accepting it.

While we were at the store, Rhi I texted Rhi to tell her what was going on. She was out on a date, but we always kind of keep in touch, no matter what's going on. We chatted back & forth for awhile & then she asked me if she could move back in. Of course I'm not going to tell her she can't, so we no longer have an empty, or even nearly empty nest, since Erin has been staying here since August & Rhi is back, now, too. It's different this time around, we aren't raising them & Rhi is doing a lot of changing, so I'm hoping life will coninue to just be mellow for us.