No Motivation

I'm so not in the mood to cook dinner tonight. I don't even know what to cook to begin with. I thought about curried chicken, but we just had a rice dish the Friday night & I think I'll make that tomorrow instead. I'm thinking its gonna be dinner jump-up tonight. I know Troy won't complain, he never does. I think I slept way too late today, I know I haven't felt like doing much of anything all day.

Tomorrow, I think I'm going to make the necklace my mom ordered from me, and hopefully take it over to her. I want to see if my dad finished the second bathroom he was putting in, and whether he decided to put in one of those vessel sinks he was talking about the last time I saw them. I love looking at their home improvement projects, they're both so good at that kind of thing & I inherited none of the talent, at all. Its unfair, I tell ya.

Remembering

I was just remembering when Troy's employer decided to change how they paid everyone. Everything changed, from the payroll software to the day they were paid on. Before the change they got paid every Wednesday, which was nice, because payday never seemed like it was very far away, but afterwards, they got paid every other Friday. That was hard enough to get used to, but initially, we had to wait 3 1/2 weeks to get paid so that they could get everything situated. That was really, really hard, especially trying to make it on a week's pay for that long.

Now there are rumors that they want to go back to paying them every week again. I hope they don't, because I'm used to this way now & like being able to pay all of the bills with one check & then the rent & car payments with the other - its a lot less hassle that way. I get nervous every time I hear anything about things changing out there, because its the salaried guys that always want to mess around - it doesn't affect their payday, at all.

Wow.

I cannot believe how fast this summer has flown by. School starts in about 2 1/2 weeks! This coming Saturday I'm taking Rhi school shopping, next week we have our last camping trip of the summer and then then next week, its school.

Its kind of a bittersweet feeling, since this is really the last one that matters much, since Rhi graduates in May & I can start & end my summer as I please after that. Its also very liberating, knowing that I can finally, after 21 years, start to live life on my own schedule & not according to one of my children. I'm not sure that I'll know how to act.

I'm really looking forward to the fall, though, with its football games and crisp weather. I've missed going to games with Troy & Rhi, and hope we'll continue what we started last fall. Life changes so fast, its really hard to believe sometimes, you know?

Just Thinking

In my last post I was talking about irrational fears, and I got to wondering about something - my fear of reception areas specifically. Do the people who decorate offices deliberately make the reception areas more intimidating? Is it a way to make sure that people stop there & don't go any further without permission? I really do think they must, because I know there's a lot of homey, welcoming office furniture out there & it never seems to get used in those places. If that's really the case, it just doesn't make sense to me, I want people to enjoy my place of business. I want them to come back, you know?

Irrational Fears

Do any of you have irrational fears? I have a few, and even though I know that they're irrational, I still have them & haven't ever been able to shake them, either. What are mine?

1. The telephone. I HATE and FEAR calling people. Sometimes even the people I know & trust with my life, but usually just strangers, or businesses. I do somewhat better if people call me, but it depends on the person. One of my best friends in the world & I can't talk on the phone together, its all weird & awkward for some reason, but we have no problems talking in person, through email on on IM.

2. Receptionists in Doctor's offices. I usually go to the doctor or dentist with Troy & he almost always goes to the reception desks for me and checks me in. I always feel like they're judging me, talking about me & laughing behind my back, for some reason. This is one of the few things left from the almost-crippling shyness I suffered from in my younger years.

3. Stinging things like wasps, bees & hornets. I am nearly paralyzed with fear if one of them is anywhere near me & have to fight the urge to flee the entire time they are withing about 30 feet of me. I watch them constantly & know where they are at all times. If I lose track of them, I start to "feel" them crawling on me. I haven't been stung since I was 9.

I think that's all of them that I can really call irrational. What about you?

Pain in the Butt

Wow, I was gonna come in & post just kind of randomly about my day, then I couldn't even log in to Blogger, so I had to go the back way in, through google.. it was really a pain in the butt. It took me 5 minutes to get in here. Very aggravating.

Anyway. I went this morning to pick up Dawn & Jason so we could go to a bake sale to benefit a friend of ours who had been hit by a deer while he was riding his motorcycle & has huge hospital bills now, but... there was no bake sale where we'd been told to go. So, we wandered around the store, shopping for stuff for dinner tonight & then went to Papa Murphy's so they could pick up their lunch, and I dropped them off & came home.

I fixed myself a couple of very low fat burritos and started eating when Rhi texted me to tell me she was on break & starving, so I finished eating & drove to Taco Bell & bought her some food. I sat & visited with her while she ate, then I came back home.

My dishes are done, I have spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove, when everything is done & Troy gets home, I'm taking it to Dawn's house, and we're all (Dawn, Jason, Ryan, Nate, Charley, Vicki, Me, Troy & all the kids) going to have that and Vicki's manicotti, salad & garlic bread. I'll be having the spaghetti & salad, but I imagine everyone else will have a bit of everything. It should be a nice evening. hanging out with friends always rocks!

Weirdness

I have been having the strangest dreams the past couple of nights. Its odd enough that I'm even remembering them, quite frankly, but they have their own strangeness, too. I don't remember what I dreamed about Saturday night, but I know I woke up Sunday morning wondering what I was on. Last night/early this morning? That's a different story entirely. I dreamed that I was on the run in the desert, with Troy. We were trying to get away from this guy that was half-snake, half-man. He had a red convertible, that was being driven by this big-muscle milkman, or at least he was wearing a milkman's uniform. Maybe in my dreamworld all uniformed men look that way, I have no idea, I just know it was really weird and really action packed. I woke up with my heart racing because we had just been forced off the road by them & our car was going fast down an embankment. I laid in my bed for awhile just kind of smiling and shaking my head about the absurdity of it all. It was almost as funny as the one I had about the gorillas packed into the VW Bug.

Relief!

Judging from our weather forecast for the next week, our monsoons have come right on time. Its so nice to see the highs in the 80s and not the 90s or over 100. I love the rain, and storms.

Rhi & I had a sad thing happen last night, though. We had dropped her best friend, Wade at his house & were coming back home, taking the long way, because it gives us a chance to visit and such. We came down 200 North & there was a dog who had been hit, still lying out in the road.

Rhi asked if we could please stop, so she could move the dog off the road, so it wouldn't get hit again. So, I stopped & she ran back to the dog, I was watching her in my rearview mirror & she kept looking up at me, so I knew the dog was still alive & she was trying to get my attention, so I turned off the car and went back there, too. The poor dog had been hit head one & she was bleeding out of one of her eyes. She looked so sad, and so alone. There was no hope for her, so all we could do was be there with her, stroking and loving her until the end. She was wearing a collar, so I'm assuming she was in her yard until the thunder started and that it scared her & she ran off, trying to get away from it. Right into a car. I'm still so angry at the person who hit her, for not stopping, for not caring, and at her owners, for probably knowing she was afraid of storms and not bringing her inside when it started. After she died, Rhi moved her over to the gutter, curling her inward so she wouldn't get hit again. I hope her owners found her, she had such sweet eyes, even though they were full of pain & she never tried to bite us, even though I know she was hurting and scared. I hope they cry at least half as much as I have, especially since I'm crying right now & she wasn't even my dog.

The Deathly Hallows

So, did everyone who wanted a copy of Book 7 get one? My friends & I were at Walm@rt at 8pm last night to get our wristbands that guaranteed us a copy (we were in the top 8 to get them), and were some of the first to pick up our books at 12:01 (we were out the door & back in the car by 12:06). I started reading my copy at about 11 this morning & finished it at 9:30 this evening (I took a couple of hours off in there somewhere). Yes, I shed a few tears, and yes people died, but we all knew that would happen, didn't we? I'm not disappointed with the ending & I'm not angry, unlike I was at the end of Book 6. I did a lot of smiling at the end, actually. If you're still reading, enjoy it, I know I did!

Cool Freebies

Our friends, Ken & Lynette, own a salvage yard, which is where we went to have him check the car out. I really like spending time in the main office, its all done in black & white checks and red accents. It really reminds me of the 50s somehow in there. I usually spend my time in there visiting with Lynette & her assistant Colleen, while we wait for the guys to do their thing, and today was no different. I had some M&Ms that came in a box with some part they ordered, and some Mike & Ike's from the machine and grabbed a couple of really cool personalized pens in two different styles, because I really like the ones they get & they work so well. Its not an ideal way to spend an afternoon, but its better than some, at least I was out of the heat.

Car Buying Woes

So Rhi did finally get her paycheck yesterday and we went to put a down payment on her car as soon as we cashed it. Mark, the friend she was buying it from couldn't find the keys, so we left it there & decided that we'd go back for it in the morning & take it to our other friend the mechanic to see what needed to be done to it.

We did that this morning and found out the whole clutch has to be replaced, which would cost Rhi another $400, which she definitely doesn't have. No any time soon, at any rate. So, we took it back & got her money back for her, then Mark tells us that they'll take it to another riend and see what he'll charge to fix it and then probably try selling it to Rhi, then. I tell you, with the hair I'm ripping out in frustration, I'm gonna need a hair transplant Florida fast!

I'm really hoping we'll get it all figured out pretty soon, because its really upsetting to Rhi, she was super excited about getting a car of her own and now she's really bummed out about it.

Issues

Rhi's employer apparently lost about half of the paychecks that they were supposed to get today. Rhi's was in the lost half. Of course. She was going to go & put $100 down on her car so we could take it & start to get it ready to be registered, but Troy's friend, who owns the salvage yard has to go back to his regular job tomorrow & he was the one who was going to look at it. So grrrrr. It sometimes seems that no matter what we try to do, it never happens, you know? Although, Troy got his wish to have one day where he didn't have to do anything but stay at home, so at least he's happy today!

The People You Meet

It seems like, at one time, Renaissance Faires appealed to people in limited professions, but I think I met or heard the conversations of people from so many different professions and walks of life this past week, from college students, RFI Shielding experts, Computer Technicians, Surveyors, Security Guards, small business owners, Medical Professionals and it seems like everything in between. It kind of makes me smile to think of all of these people dressed like they lived in an earlier time and what they do for a living in the real world. If we could match them up with earlier counterparts, what would their professions be & what would they wear? Yeah, there are times when I get bored & probably think too much, but it is fun to imagine.

Hard-Working Friends

One of my friends, Vicki, is also one of the partners in my booth. Quite frankly, she amazes me. She works full-time as a CNA on the Maternity ward at our local hospital, goes to school full-time, is a mother of two kids (5 & 2 years old) and still manages to walk every day, make beautiful chainmail jewelry, have a social life and help out at her mom's grooming shop and volunteer at her dad's wildlife center. I know that right now, between their new car & her student loans they're in a lot of debt, but I think she mentioned getting a school loan consolidation when she finishes school, which will help. She and her husband work so hard & are both sure good parents and awesome friends, its really an honor to be a part of their lives & I'm happy that we got to know them better over the years.

Another Faire Down.

Well. Faire this year was different. Our entertainment was awesome, we had huge amounts of vendors, and attendence seemed to be at an all-time low. Which was really sad. We aren't sure why, it was ungodly hot & humid, but it usually is - its the middle of July after all - we were surrounded by wild fires and the interstate was closed in places, but none of these really explain anything. Maybe people are just tired of it. We had a lot of other things going on, and a few stresses, but we pulled through it ok in the end.

Morgan & her boyfriend broke up at the end of it, because he didn't like how she acted at Faire & who she became afterwards, but they managed to talk it out & agreed to try to work on things. Erin got kicked off the park one day, well, not kicked off, he chose to leave, because he was wearing an offensive saying on his shirt. He & Alisha also broke up, but neither of them is sure they actually have. Its very weird.

Rhi is buying a car from Mark & Sarah, I think its a 92 Toyota Camry, it may be a 96, I'm not sure. She's very excited about it, though. It needs a new clutch & wiper arms, but I think we can manage that. Hopefully, she'll let us sell her scooter after she gets it, so we have one less worry.

I'm still exhausted from not getting much sleep for a week, but I'm gradually recovering. I hope. Every year it takes me longer to get back to normal. So far, its day 4 & I'm still just wantign to sleep.

I Love to Read

I'm a reading fanatic, I have been ever since I could read. I can't go to sleep at night unless I have a book to read. Sometimes, I have nothing new to read and have to go back and reread old favorites, which isn't a big deal, but I really do love reading things I never have before. I recently joined an online club, called BooksFree, where for different rates per month, you can receive paperback books or audiobooks in the mail. I signed up for the $9.95 plan, where I can receive 2 books at a time, read them & then send then back for free and get two more, all month long.

I ordered a couple of books from them, and received them a few days later (I'm not sure how long it took, I was busy with Faire setup and such and paid no attention). The website has a huge selection of books, in many different genres and is super simple to use. You just pick out books you want to read, put them on your list and they send them to you automatically. I love that I can just get my mail and have new books to read and I don't have to go out and hope they have what I want at my library (they rarely do) or at my local bookstore (even more rarely), all for the cost of just a little more than one new paperback a month. If you like to read and want the convenience of automatic delivery, check them out!

Happy Independence Day!

To my readers here in the States, have a wonderful holiday, be careful out there & remember our troops in your own way, today.

Wondering..

I've lost contact with a lot of people that I've been friends with, you know, they moved or I moved or something happened & now I sometimes wonder where they ended up, you know? Like Grant, who wanted to be a realtor. I know where his ex-wife is, but have no idea about him. Then there was his friend Mark (I think that was his name) that we unintentionally humiliated out of our group. Where is he? Is he happy? We moved away from Colorado 14 years ago & left quite a few friends behind, like Chuck. He left after we did and no one knows where he is, now. Is he still alive? Where's Ken Kirkmeier? And Don Divelbiss? Where did you guys go? We miss you! I know Troy often wonders what happened to John & why he stopped talking to him. I wonder if they ever think of us?

Online Games

Hey do any of you play free games online? I used to belong to Pogo, but I got tired of paying for it. The free games aren't very much fun, though. I do like the MSN Live games feature, where you earn points for prizes every time you play a game, but the games are pretty limited there, too. So, what games do you play online and where? What's your favorite? What do you recommend to someone who likes puzzle-type games? I get bored a lot, when I have downtime, at any rate, I love to play games, but I'm having problems finding things I like. Help!

Doing Better

I'm feeling a lot better today & yesterday, I figured out it was probably my allergy medicine, I think I was taking too much and it was making me groggy. I cut the dosage in half, I can still breathe, but I'm not falling asleep in my chair anymore. I got my hair dyed, went over to Dawn's and did hers, too and even finished the lip balm about 45 minutes ago. Go me!! I'm getting ready to go finish making my soap, too, just so it can be finished and I can legitimately get back to the sewing end of getting ready for Faire. On a totally random note, have you wondered just how much you don't know? I mean, I've heard the word "peptide" before (it sounds like a tidal wave of cheerleaders to me), but I have no idea what one is. Is there anything like that for you?

Update on Erin

You remember me being all bent out of shape about something that Erin had done a couple of months? I'm not sure if I actually mentioned what it was, but he had been experimenting with marijuana & I wasn't really sure if it had gone further than that or what, so I over-reacted, instead of sitting down & actually talking to him about it & I ended up kicking him out. I was pretty convinced that he was going to need addiction treatment, and was going to get completely out of control and everything else, just because he has a tendency to get obsessed with things pretty fast. He's doing really well now. He has a job, isn't doing drugs and is making plans for his future. I'm not sure if what I did was the right thing, but it was good for him and it made him look at how he was living & made him want to change.

So Tired

I've been so tired the past few days, I can hardly stay awake all day, its terrible. I have managed, at least, to get a few things accomplished, but I have to take it all in very small chunks. Whatever it is that's going on, I sure don't like it.

Anyhow, I need to go & do the rest of my dishes, scrub the kitchen counters & such so that I can make lip balm, but only if my back stops hurting here pretty soon. Or, I could get my hair dyed, since I'd like to have that finished before my super-busy week starts tomorrow, or maybe just go back to bed for a couple of years.

Blech.