Safety

I'm very much behind personal freedom, I don't like anyone telling me what I can or can't do, in regards to my home, family or body, which is probably why I'm a Libertarian, but I do believe that some things need to be legislated. Seatbelts for minors? Yes. Child restrains for children? Yes. Safety gear & motorcycle helmets for minors? Definitely. Do you see where I'm going with this? I believe that, as an adult, it should be your choice to use these items, or not. It's your life & by not using them, you are only endangering yourself. I would, 98% of the time, even if it weren't the law, still use my seatbelt. I always have. The law doesn't make me use one, my own survival instinct does. I think that's very likely the case for most adults, they use safety gear or they don't, depending on their own desire, they don't usually care what the law tells them to do. I just think law enforcement spends far too much time & money worrying about things that just aren't their concern & need to be freed up to actually enforce the things that matter.

Slackerly

Another two weeks has passed without me updating in here. I know. We got the yard nicely cleaned up, even though the weather was pretty bad in the weekend prior to Spring clean-up. We managed to get most of what we wanted done finished. We have the weed & feed on the lawn to take advantage of the few rains we've had, and I started some seeds the other day. I need to buy more peat pellets if I want to start anymore. I have broccoli & cauliflower already coming up, along with some marigolds. I have planted parsley, dill, basil, calendula, columbine & Shasta daisies as well. I will be getting some more vegetable seeds on payday, more peat pots & hopefully some more containers to start them in (I'm using produce containers that we left after we finished it). We also need to buy some garden cloth, so we can get our raised beds built in the back, so I can plant my seedlings when they're ready. I'm pretty excited about all of this & really hope I can have a productive garden this year.

Spring Clean-up

Spring Clean-up week starts tomorrow, at least for my neighborhood. We managed to get a good portion of our yard debris out & on the street today, and our yard looks a whole lot better, too. I like to drive around & see what people re trying to get away with putting out. Sometimes they throw furniture & appliances out there, even though the rules specifically say that you can't. One year we saw a dining set, a couple of old miller welders and a TV sitting on top of a pile of huge branches & lawn trimmings. I was kind of surprised that no one came along & took the welders, they can be fixed pretty easily & used forever (my brother is a welder, I'm not an expert!). The street crew left all of the furniture & sucj behind on the street, but took the branches & grass. I'll bet that was as ad day when they came home & saw that they still had to make a trip to the landfill. I'll be happy to have it done, that means it'sa one step closer to warmer weather & more flowers growing in my yard!

Silly Dreams

I used to have a dream that I'd be in a rock band someday. It's silly because I'm so cripplingly shy that I could never be comfortable on stage. I can't play an instrument that would work in a rock band (I play the flute!) and I'd have to be a lot more sure of myself to sing in front of strangers. Anyway, I had it all planned out, I'd have two guitars players; rhythm & lead & both would play beautiful Vox Guitars, the bass player would be hot & no one would ever notice what he played & the drummer? Amazing. Isn't it crazy, the things you want when you're young? Now all I want is enough. Nothing outrageous or amazing, just enough to live life everyday, to do the things we want to & go the places we want to go. (none of which are over the top) I live a simple life, I just wish it were a little more simple.

Thrifty Living

I know that my friends & family are very likely starting to really believe that I am, in fact, as crazy as I claim to be. It's because I've been on a huge money-saving, make-it-myself kick lately. I only buy a cleaning or household product, which includes many cooking & baking items, if I can't make it myself. I don't use shampoo, I make my own body wash, dish detergent & laundry soap. I don't buy Hamburger Helper because I can make my own mixes much cheaper, and the same goes for baking mixes, like cookies and such. I wash my face with oil (it's the best makeup remover I've found so far) and use cloth rags instead of paper towels. I'll be making my own emergency candles, a box for home & one for the trailer soon and taking up canning. I'm tired of spending money on things that I can do myself. If that's crazy, I guess I ought to be admitted, but I hope it doesn't cure me, because I'm really enjoying this!

Hopeful

The sun is shining today & yesterday's snow (which lasted until well into the night, by the way) is starting to melt. I'm really, really hopeful that this was the last measurable snowfall of the year & that we can start to live like it really is Spring now. Troy is up on the bedroom roof, shoveling the snow off of there before it melts & ruins the ceiling again. I wish he didn't have to do that, but it's better than the month-long process of getting it fixed again & dealing with the idiot dry-waller they use. I started watching what I'm eating again, and since the only program that works for me is WW, I bought a PointsPlus calculator & am using that. I busted out the scales on Friday & have lost 7 pounds so far. I'm sure that part of that stems from being sick earlier in the week, but I'll take the loss. It's always good to see one on your first serious week. I bought it with a pretty skin for the top, so now it just looks like a nice compact & if I use it in public, it'll pretty much seem like I'm checking my makeup. I'm dying my hair later & then we have to get the yard garbage (leaves, branches & such) out to the street for pick up tomorrow.

Unreliable

Don't you hate it when someone promises to do something with you, pending a certain event happening & then fails to follow through on it? I had that happen recently, where a friend promised to take me out for sushi after he got his taxes back. Taxes came in & I heard nothing from him about it, at all. It's not like he promised to pay my way to the laser spine institute or anything, I know, but don't tell me you want to do something with me when you have no intentions to follow through with it. I've never been a person who makes idle promises to people, not even people I don't really care that much about. If I say I'm going to do something or that I want to do something with you, then I do & am planning it out in my free time. I expect (probably futilely) other people to treat me the same way. I don't ask anyone to do anything that I'm not willing to do myself. Yes, I'm a little angry about it all, but being angry with particular friend has become commonplace these days, unfortunately. I wish he'd pull his head out of his butt, we all miss the man he used to be.

Winter is Still Hanging On

Here it is, mid-April & it's snowing. The birds are distressed & trying to gather as much food as they can & I'll need to send Troy out for the feeders soon, since they're both nearly empty. I'm not happy, this is our last weekend to get the yard done & the resulting trash taken to the street before Spring Clean-up happens for our neighborhood, after this, the cost to haul it off is ours to bear. I guess we'll have to get out there tomorrow regardless of the weather & get it done.

Things are things here at home, some are fantastic, some are okay & a few are just a little troubling, so, pretty much standard, I'd say. I've been anxiously planning our gardens for the summer & hoping for the best. I'm not great at this sort of thing, or even remembering to keep things watered, but I'm going to try my hardest this year.

We have plans to try to learn to can, or at least our son & I do & I'm pretty excited about it. We've looked into the equipment that we'll need & it'll be well worth it, as long as we actually use it.

I'm also looking forward to camping season & really plan to be gone as much as humanly possible when it gets warm enough. Hopefully, my brother or sister-in-law will come up & water the gardens for us if we ask. If they won't, I'll figure something else out, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, the snow continues to pile up in the yard.

Wow, Almost April!

Things have been busy, but yet mellow at the same time around here. I've been doing some crafts (making more Sabbat books for the Circle), working in the yard & trying to keep up with the house work.

Our son has been working a lot & just got his first paycheck yesterday, so he looking around for a nice accessories package for it, with a skin, screen protector & a car charger, then he ordered some styluses, too.

He had been, earlier in the week, looking & comparing the top netbooks, but then I just let him take mine & use it however he wants, since i might have used it for a total of 8 hours in all of the time I've had it. If he decides he wants it permanently, he can give me a little money for it.

So, the weather is warming up, the yard is turning green & life goes on. Nothing exciting or traumatic, just normal for once.

A Mellow Weekend

I pretty much completely forgot about St. Patrick's Day this year. I didn't buy a corned beef, I didn't go to any parties or even have a beer. I did manage to put on an appropriate tee in the later part of the day, having spent the front half with my mother, shopping. My oldest brother took our dad to an air show & spent the day, so I took my mom shopping out of town.

I guess it just didn't matter much this year. We did have a going away party for Dawn's oldest the other night, I had a couple of drinks and some good food & then we came home. I'm just feeling really quiet these days, I guess. A friend even mentioned that at the party, that my energy level was way down. I'm not sure what's up with that. It may be that I'm still not feeling secure after my brother's wedding & things that transpired there, or that I'm still recovering from a bad week with one of the kids. I don't really know.

I did have a good time with mom, and had a great Ross day & even managed to get some deals at JC Penney, too. So, I have cute, new capris, and awesome skirt & some nice tanks. (and a pair of shorts that were kind of a fail, but were only $2).

I've been having some insomnia, too. I wake up at around 4am to go to the bathroom, then I lay there, mind running overtime, full of names like holly springs house cleaning, and things I ought to be up doing. This goes on for about 2 hours until I pass back out for a little while longer, depending on the day of the week & my obligations. I'm starting to feel like I'm driving high school kids around again, even though I know getting my daughter to her AA meetings is more important than anything else right now, I just don't feel like I have the freedom to relax anymore. Oh well, maybe one day they'll both have they're collective poop in a pile.

Ugh.

I'm trying like crazy to accept myself the way I am, but right now, I'm struggling. A lot. I really want to be in better health & look better, but the struggle & every day battle just doesn't seem worth it. I've looked into medications & tread the oxyelite pro side effects, along with others & I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

I know I need to get more active & start practicing better portion control. I can do that. I also think I'll talk to our doctor about it & see what he has to say, too. I'm dreading that conversation, but I can do this.

A Good Week

We got a lot of stuff done this week, thankfully. Dawn's car is fixed & legal, thankfully, because that was a trying time for everyone involved. Our bedroom ceiling is almost completely repaired, after more than a week.

We got new clothes for myself, Troy & our daughter to wear to my oldest brother's wedding in a week. I got our daughter taken to the doctor, got her prescriptions updated & she got two new ones, one because her anti-psychotic makes her insulin resistant & another to help her stop smoking (no, not Chantix).

We also got our son into the eye doctor & he has new glasses on the way. He got new shoes for the wedding, as he already owns a nice suit & shirt to wear.

So, we've had a busy time, and have accomplished some pretty important things, I just wish I could get over this horrible cough I have now!

Almost Spring

The grass at the side of my house is bright green, the trees are getting the early signs of budding & we have a lot of rain mixed with snow, instead of just plain snow these days. I'll be so happy when I can stop bundling up every day & can start wearing my shorts & lighter weight tees again. I don't hate winter, and this one has been exceptionally mild for us, but I'm ready for Spring, baseball, grilling out & camping already. I can only handle staying indoors for so long, then I start craving sunshine & mountains.

Anyway, I can feel it & smell it coming, the Earth is waking up and getting ready to grow again and I aqm anxiously waiting for her to begin!

Cool Beans

We're kind of in a TV wasteland right now on Sunday nights, waiting for Game of Thrones to start again, so we've just been watching whatever looks interesting. A couple of weeks ago, we caught a show on extreme RVs, which caught our attention, since we all love camping & such. These were the type that movie stars own & live in while filming, and rock stars tour in, they were amazing. One company has all of their cupboards done in amish mission furniture style, by an Amish man they hired to work for them. They're all custom & gorgeous, it was just outstanding.

There was another company that refurbishes vintage trailers, too and they fixed one up that I feel in love with. It was all red & shiny and jut too cute. It cost the couple a lot of money, but I'd spend that on something I loved like that, you know? It was definitely one-of-a-kind a just what they asked for, how many times in life are you able to have that?

Home Improvement

Somedays I really wish I owned this house, because I would do so much to it to make it even cuter. I'd get one of those decorative plaques with our address on it, replant sod or grass seed in places where it needs to be done & really make both yards nice. I'd most certainly paint the house where it's peeling & all of the trim to match, too.

Inside the house would be some huge changes, like expanding the bathroom so it would hold a real tub that I could actually get in & take a bath. We'd move the laundry area into our bedroom, because there's a lot of wasted space in there & probably move some walls around, too. I love my home, but there are a lot of things I'd change.

Creeping Crud

It must be getting close to Spring, why else would I be plagued with both a chest cold & allergies at the same time? We're also having a pretty heavy snow storm right now, too. So, I sit here, shivering & sneezing while I watch the snow fall & prepare for Ostara & our trip Las Vegas later this week. I'm just trying to be feeling better by Thursday, because I'm going regardless & I intend to have a good time; sick or not.

In other news,I got my hair cut short again & dyed black & bright purple. I imagine my mother with have a come apart when she sees it, but guess what? I'm 46 years old, she doesn't get to decide anymore. I've always wanted to do this to my hair, but never did because I was afraid of her disapproval. I did it this time & I absolutely love it and so does everyone else who's seen it. She'll be even more shocked when I start getting tattoos, won't she?

Elections & Politics

I had to start removing people from my Facebook friends list the other day, I just couldn't take them going on & on about their political views. I don't mind views that differ from my own, I do mind being called an idiot for my own (unexpressed on Facebook) views. I just don't think it's anyone's business, you know? I've always been very quiet about whom I vote for & keep my political opinions to myself, no matter how frustrated I am with whoever happens to be president at any given time. I have never had campaign lawn signs in my yard or bumper stickers, either, and I resent having other people's opinions shoved in my face on a daily basis.

I'll be happy when this election is over & everyone can go back to backbiting the President, like usual.

Hoping

Right before Christmas - well, December 2 - we sent Erin his guitar, and a couple of weeks later, a box for him, his then fiance & her little brother, that had new guitar strings and the new game "Rocksmith" in it. Erin has played the guitar since his sophomore year of high school & has always felt that he was mediocre, at best, at it. So, sending the guitar, strings and game were our way of encouraging him to get back into a place where he feels confidant playing again. He has played with several bands over the yeas & I know he'd love to start making music again.

What I'm hoping, is that the now ex-fiance and her mother, who are meeting Troy & I in Las Vegas in February, will, at the very least, make sure his guitar & strings are a part of the exchange (along with Erin's dog!). I can replace the game, but he's had that guitar for a long time & my daughter has kept it for him since he left 5 years ago. It would be a shame for him to lose it now, just because someone wants to be vindictive.

So, my fingers are crossed & I'm planning for the best, even if I do have quite a "speech" ready if she doesn't follow through with it.

Weird!

I had the strangest dream last night. In my dream, my daughter called me, rambling on & on about pretty much nothing. Nothing she was saying made any sense to me, and then another voice came on the line and said, "Your daughter is having a psychotic break, you need to get down to the ER." I jumped up, put on my shoes and left my bedroom. No one else was home, the house was dark & silent and I had no idea where they were. I got in my car & drove to the hospital, which was also very, very dark. I went in through the ER entrance, but the automatic doors weren't working, so I had to go all the way around to the front, and go in the regular doors.

When I got in, the hall was crowded with abandoned medical carts, food service carts and the like, so I had to weave through all of this to make my way down to the ER area. I seemed to be the only person in any of the public areas of the hospital, at least as far as I could see. I got the the ER, the window was shuttered on the intake window, which also meant I couldn't get in there to find my daughter, so i sat down in the waiting area to see what would happen.

I have no idea what would have happened after that, I woke up, so I never found her, but was filled with anxiety in my waking state. I'll see her this evening, maybe she can shed some light of the two disturbing dreams I've had lately. She may be struggling with her sobriety right now, I'm not sure.

A Good Birthday

I had a very good day yesterday. It was mellow & quiet, but good just the same. I took my daughter to her probation appointment in the morning, then came home & relaxed awhile. She needed another ride later, so I did that & then me & my son went & got some lunch. We talked about how much different his life is now, me learning some easy songs on the guitar, what he planned to do later, what I planned to do later, you know, just normal stuff.

We came home, he did his thing, I did mine & then I got ready to go out to dinner with Troy. I had a ton of birthday greetings on Facebook, which was pretty awesome, really. We went out & got dinner, then came home & watched a little DVR'ed TV and went to bed. My mom came over this morning with my birthday gift - cute owl earrings!

So, all in all, a good day. I'm a little worried about my son today, he's still in bed & I'm hoping it's just because he was up so late last night. You just never stop worrying, you know?