Monday, April 27, 2009

Back in the Day

Back before I became a mom, or even got pregnant with Garrett, I had decided that I didn't really want any kids. I was young & selfish & was pretty sure I wouldn't be a very good mom & felt like I wouldn't want to give up that much of my freedom for that many years. In my mind, the question was settled, and then I married a man that really wanted a kid. He just wanted one, no more than that. I thought about it for awhile & decided I could handle one kid, that it wouldn't change my life that much & so I agreed.

It didn't take me a terribly long time to get pregnant, but by the time I was four months along, I was pretty sick. My blood pressure shot up, the headaches started & I felt miserable almost all the time. I ended up in the hospital for 2 or 3 weeks before was delivered via emergency c-section. As soon as he was born I knew that I'd give up any amount of my freedom for as long as he wanted me to.

My life changed forever that day, no matter what I thought from that day forward, I knew I wanted to be a mom & that "just one" was never going to be enough for me. I still think it's funny that the stupid kid who never wanted ANY kids left that marriage because ONE wasn't enough. I have never regretted that decision. My kids have brought so much fullness to my life, things that I'd have never had if I hadn't agreed to "just one," let alone all three of them.

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