Cleaning & Fixing

I've spent the past couple of days washing windows & curtains and then hanging Christmas lights in all of the windows at the front of the house. Our new little tree is up on the table with it's Befana topper and the wreath is on the door. I just need to give the house a good cleaning to really feel like it's ready for the season ahead.

I've decided that I want to make the craft room more storage friendly and plan to put up some shelf mounts in there & just buy wood to fit the size I need and line the east wall in shelves, that way I can keep fabric up there and my other supplies & not have to worry about it. I need to borrow my dad's stud finder and see where to put the mounts first, I don't want my shelves falling off the wall in the middle of the night or anything.

I've been using that room a lot lately, since I've been sewing again. I will be using it even more as soon as I find the fabric I have in mind for my booth's walls & start to make those and the topper for it. I need to get caught up on our storage bill before I lose my booth first, though. I have no idea how I got so far behind on it, but I did & am playing catch up right now. I wish I knew why it seems like I'm always behind on one bill or three this time of year.

Busy Day!

I truly do love the holidays, I actually have a pretty great family, for the most part & love to spend time with them, so that's never a hassle. We've all learned over the years that the holidays aren't the time to bring up our various issues with each other, although we had to learn the hard way. I do get tired when there's so much to do before, though. I feel like I've been running all day. I got up at 6:30 with Troy, was at the gym by 7:30, back here before 9 and I spent a little time playing on Facebook and eating before I grabbed a shower, did dishes and started making pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce and pumpkin mousse.

I'm just thankful that this year, we won't be participating in Black Friday & trying to get a great deal on mp3 players, Michael Kors gloves or small appliances, because I'm already tired and just want to relax. Our niece, Jaycie, spent the night last night & will be with us again tonight, then she'll ride with Rhi & I to my folks' house for the holiday. It's just easier for her most of the time to stay away from home when her parents are both home. She doesn't have to deal with the drinking and the craziness this way and we like spending time with her anyway.

Anyway, while it will be an odd holiday for me (Troy works & Erin won't be here), I'm looking forward to spending time with my family & hope all of you have a great day, too!

Why is It?

Why does everything seem to go wrong when you're the busiest & the store is the most crowded? The stores here have been jam-packed for almost a week now, and I can't seem to focus any time I'm actually inside a store, so I guess it's a good thing I'm a chronic list-maker, except when we run in for something we suddenly realized we needed & I forget about it halfway through the store & end up with a cart full of things we didn't need, but decided we couldn't live without. It's always those times when the lines are the longest and the checker is the slowest. It always seems like we're in line for 30 minutes and then right before our turn the receipt printer jams, the checker freaks and tries to fix it herself and can't and then we're all waiting for it to be unjammed or we get switched to another line & start the waiting again.

I hate crowds and chaos, it's probably a good thing that I don't live in a bigger city anymore, I would never be able to go out and go shopping. I do a fair share of it online, but I'm never really sure anymore what size clothes I wear or how something will look on me, so I can't buy those online. I have foot issues and have to try shoes on before I buy them, because I can bounce between 3 different sizes, just depending on how the shoe is made, so another thing I have to buy in person. I can handle all of that, just as long as I can do it when there are no big gift-giving holidays on the horizon. We really need to finish our shopping in the next couple of weeks, just so we don't have to deal with it, ither than to get groceries until the holidays are over.

Reading Excitement!

I was thrilled to read a post over at Christine's blog the other day. She posted that both Barnes & Noble and Amazon had released free downloads of their eReader software for download. I have been wanting a Kindle or a Nook for a few months, after first being very hesitant to even try one, because I'm pretty sure that I'll miss the smell and feel of the paper. I decided I wanted one so that I can just take it with me when I go places that I'm afraid I might get bored at. It seems like it would just be sturdier for carrying around in my purse than an actual book, you know?

Anyway, Troy & I are getting netbooks for Christmas, and we're both voracious readers, so this will be perfect for us. We buy so many books as it is, that it won't be that big of a deal to also buy some eBooks, you know? I have no intention of giving up my good, old-fashioned books, I'd miss lying down with one before bed and all of that, but for going other places, a book or two on the netbook would be ideal and there are also tons of free ones out there, too, so I'll probably get a chance to read a bunch of things I wouldn't have considered otherwise.

I think I'm just about finished with my shopping for the family, I know we'll get my brother & his wife & my mom and dad as our draws, that's the only way it really works out, otherwise, some of us end up giving gifts to the people we live with & buy for anyway. I know which perfume my sister-in-law likes, and which cologne dad likes, so I added them to my next Avon order, I'm getting a bunch of stuff for my niece, too. I'm trying to find the perfect gift for my mom and brother, but they won't be that hard to shop for, they're both pretty easy-going when it comes to that. I can always get my brother something with a Rockies or a Broncos logo and he'll be happy, of course I could (and likely will) do the same for dad.

We haven't been able to find what we're getting for the grand-daughter anywhere here locally, so we may have to order it from Crayola, but I'm going to check here again and then in St. George first, just to make sure, and yeah, I still haven't bought Erin's, but we'll probably go look today & see what the price range is & maybe grab it now.

Relieved

Erin called me a couple of nights ago and he's in Pueblo, with his big brother, or at least close enough that they can hang out together for awhile. It's nice knowing where he is for a change. I just keep hoping he doesn't run into his donor, that's something I'd like to have him avoid, at least until he's a bit more stable. The clinic he went to in Texas also called and all of his tests came back normal, so none of us have to worry about his health, either. He said he plans to be back here in December, for about 2 weeks, so he'll probably be here for Christmas & a bit after & then head out to parts unknown again. Sometimes it feels like he's in punta cana or something, because it's all the same when you have no idea where your kids are, you know?

I guess we'd better get his Christmas gift purchased and wrapped, since he's verified again that he is coming home. I got Rhi's the other day & just have to get it wrapped (it's a lot bigger than I thought, so that'll be fun.. not) and tagged.

I've ordered a few things for stocking stuffers and such from Avon, too, and keep adding to that as I go along. It should be a pretty fun holiday, at any rate, in spite of Troy's work schedule and my hostility regarding that, I just wish that for once, Dawn and her family could enjoy it.

Excited

I'm starting to get excited for Christmas already. I didn't think I would, because Troy is working that day, but I am. I'm getting a Zune from Troy and I'm really stoked about it. I really wanted to get one for the days when I'm walking by myself, it helps keep my mind off of the pain & repetition, and makes it go a lot faster.

The rest of the family all have MP3 players, so I have been a little jealous of that. I had one for awhile, but my car killed it. I've really missed having one since then. The package I'm getting has the car kit with it, so it'll transmit through the radio & I won't have to worry about the electrical system in my car ruining it.

So, yeah, I know, I'm excited for the holidays for a solely material reason, but at least I'm excited and not dreading them anymore, right?

Worries

I'm concerned about so many things right now. The economy doesn't seem to be turning around any time soon, and the company my husband works for has already started laying people off. I'm hoping that they're finished, but you never know. It's a constant worry, even if it's under the surface most of the time.

Erin is having medical issues and is a long, long way from home. I don't know that he's okay, or that he will be, I do know that he's drinking too much and has had DTs when he hasn't had anything to drink for awhile. That is never something a mother wants to know about her child, especially when there isn't anything in the world you can do about it.

My brother's drinking has also gotten worse. He has started showing up late for work because he's been oversleeping. His wife never gets out of bed anymore until late afternoon, she doesn't bathe, she looks horrible. I hate that my niece has to live in that environment, and I worry about her. My brother will lose his job if he keeps it up. They have already cut everyone back to four days a week, and if it'll save them money they'll fire him for being late. He's a welder who fabricates stainless steel drums, and I just can't see that there will be so much demand for him that he'll get any slack with that behavior.

Rhi is still trying to get a job, she has applications in all over the place, but isn't having any luck so far.

Dawn is stressed & emotional right now. Jason isn't working, she's paying everything on her own & they just aren't making it anymore. She has to have surgery on her wrists, but she needs a second job, too, so she's stuck trying to decide what to do. They're overdrawn at the bank (thanks to Jason. Again.) and have no way to repay it. her medicaid & food stamp case is closed right now, because they changed the rules and she had to come up with proof that the kids were actually who she said they were. She did that & yet, she's still waiting. They have no food in the house, I have no way to get her any because we have nothing extra right now, either.

What a bunch of messes. :(

A Change in Mindset

I was thinking about all of the changes in packaging that have happened in my lifetime, from fast food coming in Styrofoam boxes and every container being way bigger than the product inside to the current paper wrapping for fast food and streamlined boxes and containers. I noticed the other day at the grocery store that even Crystal Lite has changed their packages for the half gallon drink mixes, they did away with the plastic tub and moved to the same packaging as the single serve mixes and even made the main container smaller.

I know we're much more likely to buy products in the smaller boxes and even more likely if they also use post-consumer recycled materials in it. In cleaning supplies, we'll buy the natural products before the chemical laden products, because we have pets and feel better about using them than the alternative. I buy a lot of organics these days, too and have seen more & more of them popping up at the grocery store these days, which makes me very happy.

How about you? Have you increased your "Green shopping" or has nothing changed for you? I think manufacturers have made it a lot easier to shop responsibly by changing packaging & the materials used to make their products, that way most of us don't really have to think about it much. I'd probably have to go out of my way to find the old-style packaging, you know?

Halloween Goodies!

I've been following the 31 Days of Halloween giveaway over on Mrs. B's blog this month, and I've entered for a few things, because honestly, she has some awesome stuff to give away this month. Today, there was an offer that I just can't refuse! Octoberfarm is giving away a great goodie bag full of things from Salem, MA!! There is a little handmade spellbook, a tiny handmade broom, candy, syrup, baked goods, keychains, magnets, pictures, a tiny tote bag and a bunch more, really. I really, really want to win this, I have always wanted to go to Salem, and this would be about the next best thing for me!

If that sort of thing interests you, you really should go check out the giveaway & enter yourself - then send the goodies to me if you win!! LOL!!

Odd

I've noticed something the past few days, that just strikes me as odd. I used to be an everyday, several pots a day, coffee drinker. When my kids were babies & toddlers, it was the only way I could make it through the day. We had coffee brewing all day & into the night, and I went through one of the big coffee cans every month, if not more. As I got older (and so did the kids) I lessened what I drank, only brewing a pot in the morning and eventually only drinking a cup or two of that. The past couple of years, since the kids are grown up & I don't have to get up any earlier than I want to (and believe me, it's still pretty early) I haven't even bothered, except on very rare occasions.

So why have I been looking at coffee makers and wondering if I have room for one in my kitchen? I got rid of mine a years ago & replaced it with a French press, which I still rarely use & haven't really figured out how strong I like to make it in that. I really have no extra space in there for any other appliance in there, and I wouldn't use it often enough to even justify the cost, but yet, here I am, looking at them anyway. Must be my gadget addiction or something.

Oh! Oh!

Needless to say, I'm not going to start that housecleaning thing tonight. I'm just going to relax and enjoy my evening, I think. I hope to find something scary to watch on TV, maybe there something seasonal showing tonight. We went to see "Zombieland" on Sunday and we all loved it! I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it again, any time I want to. We laughed so much during the movie, but oddly, we've done a lot of thinking about what we'd do if anything like that ever happened. There are so many crazy viruses out there these days that the possibility is very real, you know?

I forget got to mention that this morning, on our daily walk, we jogged! I never thought we'd be doing this, but we have been do inspired by "The Biggest Loser" lately that we both feel like we can do much more than we have been, and that we can overcome any temptation we encounter. Dawn & I are both former smokers & believe that since we quit smoking, we can do just about anything, really. Anyway, we've been walking on the indoor track at SUU, and today, we ran on one of the curves every lap around. We plan to do that for a week & then next Friday, we'll run on both curves. We'll probably do that for a couple of weeks to build up our stamina & then add a straightaway, until we're running a lap at a time. We'll probably run one and walk one for awhile, but we're making a lot of progress & we're both very proud of ourselves. Troy was with us, too, and he did some sprinting, but he's in a lot of pain tonight, so I think he probably overdid it.

Anyway, wish me luck as I surf channels tonight & weed out the weight loss supplement commercials and sitcoms from what I might really want to watch, I really hope to find something good or watch a DVD or two.

Getting Ready

It's time for me to get motivated to clean up this living room again. I was doing do well on the whole house before Rhi moved back in. I'm not sure why I lose my motivation when there are more than Troy & I living here, but I certainly seem to. Whatever the cause I need to break through it & stop, because we're all so much happier when it's nice and clean in here. I still haven't gotten my craft room situated & I'm pretty sure it's back in the same condition it was in when we started trying to get it put back together. It's very frustrating, let me tell you.

I can see that one of the kittens stole one of the outdoor pillows I have in here for the chairs, because it's on the living room floor & was probably being used as a bed this afternoon. They grab the ties on the corners & pull them down. You'd think they had been bought for them, honestly. I think I bought this particular one because our old couch was broken on one side & I put that under the cushion to prop it up enough to kind of sit on it comfortably. It worked for awhile. I won't miss breaking the furniture because 'm too heavy & all I do all day is sit, that's for sure & that so isn't my life anymore.

Whew!

I did finally get my laptop upgraded the other day, but I installed Windows 7 to the wrong drive because I misunderstood the little prompt in the installation, so Troy & I had to sit around half the day yesterday and try to figure out where I went wrong & how to fix it, which we did. So, everything is running and I really love this new version. I have to say that I think this is the best one I've used in recent years.

So, we're all updated and "modern" with my laptop, we're both getting gadgets for Christmas, we got a nice, big flat screen TV last winter & use the newest gaming technology we can afford, all we need now is to get rid of this 70s & 90s furniture and get some nice modern furniture, although I'm pretty sure the fur-kids would have anything nice we bought looking bad in short order.

We're having phone issues with Rhi again, so Troy has taken her down to get his old one activated for her. Hopefully, this will last longer than the one she just had. I can't take the stress after she loses one.

Frustrating

Apparently, I need to have Troy sit down with me & walk me through formatting my laptop & upgrading my OS, because I got started and couldn't even get anything done. I don't know how to boot from disc or change my partition sizes, and I can't upgrade to Windows 7 until I can do that. It's very frustrating and now I can't do anything until tonight, because Troy is at work today.

I'm thankful he's at work, trust me. Yesterday was a trying and somewhat scary day, since we found out that his employer had started lay-offs. He's safe for the time being, but if they decide to cut the security force in half, he'll be out of luck & our only real hope will be if they pay out his vacation & sick leave. I know if they offer to buy out his retirement, he'll take that offer & we'll be able to pay off our debt and live on his unemployment until we can both find something.

If need be, I guess we'll relocate. We'll have to go where ever the work is, even if that means we'll have to look into long distance movers, since we don't have a truck of our own to move very far. I don't want to leave my home again, but I know it's a very real possibility and have accepted it & many other things that we'll have to do or sacrifice to survive. The important things is that we will survive & we'll be okay. We've known this would very likely happen and have a plan if he is laid off. We're both at peace with either eventuality.

Now, if I could just get my laptop upgraded!

The Bell Rings Blue

I'm sitting here listening to streaming audio of a high school football game. The game is being played in Pueblo, Colorado, at Dutch Clark Stadium. It's the oldest high school rivalry west of the Mississippi, and this is the 109th game. It's called the Bell Game & is played between Pueblo Central (Go Big Blue!!!) and Pueblo Centennial. Obviously, I went to Central and still love my high school and all of that. My team made the first touchdown with the kickoff & I swear, if this game is that exciting all night, I'll need a portable AED machine, just to make it through the game.

I think the most fun is that I'm sharing the game with many of my old classmates on Facebook. Some of us are still in Pueblo, many of us are scattered around the country, but even so, those of us who aren't at the game are either listening to the streaming audio, the radio or checking the score where ever we can. I'm as excited as I ever was in high school over this game & that's a fantastic feeling!

I'm not looking forward to having to drive Rhi to her friend's birthday party in a little while, trust me. I was thinking about taking my laptop with me, but then I realized that I'd lose my connection. I'll just go as quickly as I can & get back. It's agony not being there!

On the Rollercoaster Again?

I'm pretty sure that Rhi has either lost her job & isn't telling me, or is slacking off of her job & is lying to me about it. She hasn't worked in over a week & was supposedly going in tonight, but she just came home & said that she was getting started on loading the dishwasher & there was a big boom & smoke started pouring out from behind the dishwasher & she got sent home because of the danger or something. I know knowing about this sort of thing, but it did sound believable. She had new work shirts that she picked up the other day, with the new restaurant name on them and I desperately want to believe in her & think she's telling me the truth. I don't want to think she's messing around with her job again. They're just too hard to come by right now, especially in a small town, and she knows that, it took her almost a year to get this one, after all. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to be on the rollercoaster off emotions again, when I find out I've been lied to, I just want what she's telling me to be the truth.

Well, onto less worrisome things, I guess. This morning, I did something I never have before. I made freezer jam with strawberries, peaches & mangoes. I know, it's not rocket science or medical equipment repair, but it was something I was hesitant to try doing, because I'm so unsure of myself when it comes to anything to do with canning or preserving. I'm excited to try making some more, because even though this is really good, I know I didn't get the pieces small enough, because I had to chop them up. I didn't own a potato masher to use on it, so I went & bought one this afternoon & think I'll make some mixed berry next (if I can find some more freezer jam pectin). Maybe one day I'll feel like trying to make the cooked version!

Insurance

Troy has been with the same company for 14 years now. For all of those years, our insurance didn't cost us anything, the company provided it for all of us. I realize how fortunate that made us, but we did start taking it for granted, which we never should have done. We found out a few weeks ago, that starting January 1, we will have to start paying for me to be insured. I was ready to just go without & start looking for some cheap health insurance on my own, but Troy talked me out of it. I haven't been to see a medical doctor for years, but you know, as soon as I gave my insurance up, I'd need to be hospitalized or something & we'd end up going bankrupt again.

I'm not happy with it, but I'm thankful that they still pay for Troy's and that we aren't insuring children anymore, you know? I doubt we'd be able to afford that, although we'd do it, we would have to start deciding what to give up, and honestly, almost everything we have right now is there for a reason, other than entertainment or something like that. We're just lucky that Troy still has his job & we aren't in stress mode right now, so I'll take that & not gripe about the rest.

Out & On the Road

Erin called me yesterday morning, after he got out of jail. Apparently he & his girlfriend, Dani, had just sat down by the side of the road & put up their sign, asking for money for food when the police rolled up & arrested them. He told me that Dani's cell mate passed out and hit her head, but when she asked for a guard to come & check on the girl, it took 20 minutes before he came back and then he looked at Dani & told her it was none of her concern and none of his & walked away without even checking on her. That doesn't leave you with a lot of faith in the justice system, does it?

Anyway, he's okay and they were planning to move on either last night or this morning, so I can go back to only worrying periodically.

Are any of you watching "The Biggest Loser" this season? I haven't watched it in a couple of years, but since I'm on the weight loss wagon currently, I find it to be very inspiring, so I've been tuning in since the first episode. If you are watching and have been Tivoing it or something, there may be some spoilers in here, so just hit the back button, okay?

I really liked Tracy that first week, I felt bad for her when she ended up in the hospital and was so happy when they said she was going to be allowed to continue, because she obviously needed to be there. I was happy for her when she made it back last week & happy they both lost so much weight. I'm rethinking those feelings now. What she did this week has no place in this show, in my opinion. Yes, it's technically a game & the winner is rewarded, but it just isn't played that way. It upsets me so much when anyone treats the show like it's more about the game than changing lives and risks the other members like that. I will hate seeing Mo go, but it's time for Tracy to leave.

It Makes a Mother Proud

I got a strange phone call earlier, it was one of Erin's friends, he said he had the wrong number & then he texted me a few minutes later, asking if I'd heard from Erin lately. I texted back & told him he should have asked when he called & told him I'd heard from him a few mornings ago, that he was in Savannah, Georgia & was hoping to leave that night for Florida. I figured he was just missing him & wanting to know that he was okay, until the friend called me again. Apparently, he'd gotten a call that he couldn't really understand, other than something saying it was an inmate call. He looked up the area code & was from Savannah, so he thought he'd better call me.

I looked it up on the 'net & found out he was arrested this afternoon, for jaywalking & begging. His picture was, well.. let's just say I wouldn't know him if I ran into him on the street. At least he wasn't picking up for boosting Ferrari parts or armed robbery or anything. I imagine they'll cut him loose in the morning. It wasn't a great gift for Troy on his birthday today, but at least for once, we know exactly where he is for a little while.

Ch-Ch-Changes

We've lived in this same trailer park for 6 years now. It's the longest we've ever spent in one house in our whole marriage. When we moved here, it was after finding out the kids wanted to return to public school. We had just bought the XTerra, so we had a car payment, school fees & rent that was a little higher than we were comfortable with with the added expenses of public school. We moved here because they would let us have our dog (it was Bear at the time) and the cats. It was a pretty nice trailer park back then & the former owner kept everything well-maintained & insisted that tenants keep their yards nice & clean, too. He paid our water bill & the sprinklers were set to turn on at specific times & days, the grass was always green & nice, but some people were mad that they weren't allowed to have a hose and all of that. It never really bothered us, I would have rather had green grass.

A couple of years ago, he sold it to someone else. For awhile, the sprinklers still worked, but people started hooking up hoses and breaking water lines and filling up huge swimming pools and all of that & they stopped setting them to come on automatically. People's yards look horrible, filled with broken furniture, trash and things like that. Yes, before the sale, there were always swing sets, trampolines and things like that, but people cared back then & they don't really seem to anymore.

It makes me sad & makes me want to move. I know we will as soon as we can afford to & find a place where we can have our pets, but I really wish we didn't have to.