What in the World?

I guess I spoke too soon when I posted on the 12th, because our whole world came crashing down two days later. Troy & I were sitting in the office, each doing our own thing, Rhi left & went over to her friend, Chris's house, everything seemed fine. That afternoon, I heard a car pull up in front of the house, looked out my window (it's right next to my desk & I always look out to see who's here) and saw an SUV, with 3 plain clothes cops getting out & heading for our door.

I told Troy, he headed for the door, so he could go outside to talk to them (we have absolutely nothing to hide, but we have a big dog & never let cops inside without warrants). He went outside, one of them immediately copped an attitude, and was completely paranoid about whoever was "peeking out the window" when they pulled up, and went out back, hand on side arm, expecting me to mount an ambush from back there. They were the Drug Task Force & they were looking for Rhi. Of course, as I just said, she wasn't here, so they called her, found out where she was & went to go "talk to her." She called me almost immediately, claiming ignorance. I told her to call me when they were finished talking to her & never heard anything else from her, until that night.

I did hear from her friend that they had handcuffed her & taken her away. I checked the county inmate bookings awhile later & found that she'd been arrested on 3 felony counts of distribution of marijuana. I looked it up & learned she could serve up to 15 years in prison. 15 years. I was pretty convinced she didn't do it, until she called that night & told us that she was guilty. I only got to talk to her for a minute (literally), and haven't gotten to since then. This was a payday where I was determined to get things paid off & down, so we were pretty much broke by the day she got arrested & weren't able to set up the account so she could call us collect (calls are $10 & up for 15 minutes). I did get a postcard, where she apologized for being an idiot, but also kind of blamed it on the state, I guess not realizing that marijuana is a controlled substance throughout this country. She also asked us to pay $1500 of her bail, which isn't going to happen.

I can handle a lot. I've been through a lot of things. I can find out just about anything on the internet (you wouldn't believe the calls I get from Erin asking to solve arguments about music, movies and books. I even got one asking if it was possible to use Blue Cross North Carolina benefits outside of the state of North Carolina. I can't find a way to deal with this pain. I can't find a way past thinking I won't see her, outside of a jail/prison until she's 36. This. This right here? Hardest thing I've ever done.