So Very Tired

I haven't had a full night's sleep in days & I'm exhausted. I have so much stuff rolling around in my head, all the time that it just won't let me rest. I need to sleep & I need to start eating more, which I also haven't been doing. Stress does horrible things to my body & I'm reaping that this week. I know I can't keep doing this for very much longer, I just can't. I need to find some gold bullion in the attic, I'm tellin' ya.

In other stuff, Rhi has a status hearing this afternoon, regarding the minor consumption ticket she got back in March. You'd think a charge like that would like it is in most places, where you pay the ticket & move on, especially between 18-21 years old, but no. She actually has to go to court, and go through a whole process to get past it, including a fine that is several hundred dollars. It's ridiculous.

I haven't really heard from Erin since faire, even though I think he tried to call me yesterday. I imagine that he'll try again & I won't miss it this time. Hopefully, at any rate.

Anyway, I'm really thinking about going & lying don to try to get a little more sleep, so I can get through this hearing with her later. Bleh.

Doing Better

Rhi & I have finally, after many years, reached a place where I can deal with her manic phases & not drive either of us more crazy. I was thinking too much like a man & trying to fix it every time she'd have one & that wasn't helping either one of us, so now I just let her rant & rave & vent & do her thing & know that when she's done, everything will be fine. We've done a lot of talking this past week & it's nice that she's starting to rely on me again & feels like she can trust me, it's been a long time since we've had that type of relationship.

In other news, the camping trip was pretty fantastic & we already have the next one planned & I can't wait to go. I love being up there on the mountain, away from the world, with no distractions & the freedom to do whatever we want to. I would say we leave the modern conveniences behind, but that would be a flat-out lie, since this last time we had a laptop, 2 netbooks, 3 mp3 players & a generator, but for most of us, that's so we have music to listen to all weekend long. The only radio station we can get up there is the Top 40 one & you can only hear so much Lady GaGa in a weekend before your ears start bleeding.

Our next trip will only be for the actual weekend, at least for us, but it'll be just as good, because any time you sped with good friends is a good time. We have one more coming up in September to celebrate Morgan & Troy's birthdays, but we're going somewhere different because it'll be too cold on the mountain by then. Next summer, we have some big plans for Lake Powell & I'm really excited about that, because I haven't been since I was 16 & I think it'll be a blast.

Catching Up on Life

It seems like we get so busy in the summer, between faire, camping & everything else we plan to & do get to do that I fall behind on everything else, especially the house. I've been trying every day since faire (minus the camping trip) to get caught up on my Facebook requests, without much luck. I think I'm just about there, though. I've spent today cleaning house, cooking (crockpot) and getting caught up & haven't done much else, so I'm actually making a little progress.

I don't like that we make all of these plans for our house or yard or whatever & they never seem to happen, though. It's fairly upsetting to me. We wanted to get lawn furniture & keep the backyard nice & maybe build an outdoor fireplace, but none of that really ever happened. We tried with the lawn, but it just kept dying, more & more. It just gets so hot back there that unless the sun has gone down, it's no fun to even be there. We were going to save up for furniture, but that hasn't happened yet, either, so, I guess we'll see what the future holds & if we get better at keeping our promises to ourselves.

Getting Ready to Leave

We're just about ready to load the car & head out. I'm pretty excited, as I always seem to be when we go camping. I just want to read, write & take pictures this weekend, and probably listen to a lot of music & enjoy time with my friends. This is what summer is all about to me, being in the great outdoors, sleeping under the stars & just relaxing. These are the things I miss so much when summer is over & what I look forward to every spring.

This will be a time to get away from the every day hassles, worries, concerns & questions about diet pills that work and a chance to just be myself & not have to concentrate on my normal life. I really do need to get the car loaded, head to the store & then over to Dawn's though, so we can hit the road. You all have a great weekend!

Ouch!

I hate the days when I wake up in so much pain, that that's all I can really even focus on. My back has been killing me since I woke up, I thought getting out of bed would help, but so far, it hasn't. I took my daily dose of ibuprofen & it hasn't even tried to touch the pain, yet. So, basically, I'm just miserable & I can't see an end in sight for it. I'm so tired of hurting all the time, I am beginning to wonder if a new mattress will even help or if I'm just screwed from here on out.

I know that I also have terrible posture, especially when sitting here at the computer, and hours of reading apidexin reviews and other things doesn't help much. I can't wait to get back to walking or working out every day, this sluggish life I've been leading lately is for the birds & it isn't helping me feel better or look better, either. I think I'm on the road to finding my motivation again & working on reaching my goal. I know that I don't want to ever be as big as I was again & that I enjoy getting smaller & smaller. I think a lot of my flagging resolve has to do with people in my life giving up & going back to the way things used to be & that's fine for them, but I can't let myself do that. This week, while camping, I intend to try very hard to eat right & in moderation, that's all I can do. I can't keep living out of control like I have been.

Pregnancy & Such

No, not me, although I did claim to be to Troy this morning, as a joke that both of us know would never be true. Morgan is having a tough time, emotionally, this time around. She feels like she's in the dark most of the time, regarding her partners finances and other things & I feel for her & hope she can find a way to talk to him about all of this stuff. I remember the first time around, with Beth, all she was worried about was which stretch mark cure really worked, and what the baby would look like and all of that. Now it seems likes she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. I hope things will start to come together for her, it's hard enough being a mommy, but going into something & feeling unsure all the time is even harder.

I'm feeling very lazy today, I took a very long nap & now I'm groggy & just want to go back to sleep. I have a lot to do today, but I can't do my laundry for the camping trip until Troy is done with his laundry & I can't really even take my shower until he's done, either. So, I guess I'll fix something to eat & see how much more he has to do & then go from there. I was feeling like a Harry Potter marathon, but I'm not sure if I have the energy to stay awake through them all now.

The Last One

Faire is over for another year & for us, forever, at least the volunteering part of it. We still haven't decided whether we'll go back & just play yet, or not. I can't picture Troy wandering around the park in a t-shirt & rocawear jeans, any more than I can see me doing that, so if we don't go to play, we won't go at all, I'm sure.

It all just got to be too much for us & we weren't having any fun. I knew when all I could think of was faire being over so I could listen to my new music & so we could go camping. In the past, we never wanted it to end, but that was back when we still got to play & have fun, which I can't remember the last time that happened for us. I'd love to go back as a guild & do the things all of the others do, and not have to work, I don't see them letting us do that, but it would really be nice if they did.

We have had offers from other Guilds, so we will have a place to park our butts when we get tired, but it's never the same as having your on space, you know? So, I guess we'll see what the future brings, we may just end up going to Age of Chivalry in Vegas & calling this one quits, at least for us.

Yuck.

I just feel like garbage today. I'm tired, my stomach is queasy & I don't even want to get dressed & go to faire. At all. I know how to lose weight fast, but this isn't it. I haven't been eating very well this week, when I actually remember to eat at all. I had baked chips & cherries for dinner when we got home last night, because nothing else even sounded remotely good. I didn't eat lunch until about 3 yesterday & had a hard time keeping my breakfast down. Today? I'm not even hungry at all yet, which is very unusual for me, I'm usually starving as soon as I get up in the morning.

Anyway, I'm stressed today & probably won't have time for a shower, since it looks like it's going to storm today & I really need to get dressed & head to the park to get the stuff that will be water damaged into the plastic bins.

Carefree Childhood

This week is the busiest of the year for us, the week of the Utah Midsummer Renaissance Faire. It starts today at 8:30 for us, with the Independence Day parade (yes, it's a day late, this is Utah, and yesterday was Sunday). We can't start setting the park up until the festivities on the park are all cleaned up, so we'll be working very late tonight to get the stage up & built. Tomorrow will start at 8:00, since we intend to have our encampment setup first thing, followed by our booth, so we can take care of everything else that has to be done that day.

I'd love to just go back to being one of the guilds who visits the faire every year, just once. It would be nice to hang out in our encampment, demonstrate some stuff & just add color to the faire, but honestly, I can't remember when that was all our Guild did, we've been volunteering, at least in some capacity, for 15 years now & we've been in Utah for 17, so pretty much, all of the time I've been with a Guild, we've been working at the faire.

It would be like going back to a carefree childhood, after years of worrying about paying rent, maintaining vehicles, your home ventilation, buying clothes for growing children, and taking care of everything else. Would we appreciate it, or would it just be a hassle after so much time "being in charge?" I'm thinking it would be hard for us to step back, really, we'd still be working, at least in our thoughts & wouldn't be able to relax anyway.