Well..

So much for that. We did get back into debt over the past two weeks. It wasn't for a car, white gold jewelry or furniture. It was for an investment, something we will only ever buy one of. We got a 2012 travel trailer & believe me, we'll use the hell out of it, since our favorite warm weather activity is camping. I've spent the last week & a half getting it stocked & ready for our first camping trip in it, which is still about 13 days away. We're so excited to actually have a comfortable place to sleep (and it's a nice pillowtop mattress on our bed!) and a fridge and a nice stove to cook on. We're really happy with our decision & I'm thrilled that we have a chance to start rebuilding our credit in a more responsible way this time around.

Growing Up?

It's funny. We filed bankruptcy over a year ago & have managed to stay debt free since then, other than buying Troy's car from a friend of his & a few medical bills. This wasn't our first bankruptcy, we filed for our first one 11 years ago & within a year we were back in debt. We seem to have learned a lot from that experience, being in debt now really scares me, in a way it never did before. I just remember the suffocating feeling every month when it came time to pay the bills & never having any money to enjoy.

I'm nervous about getting back into debt to get another car, even though I know that it will, in fact, save us money on gas over time. I've been very diligent about keeping everything paid & throwing away credit card applications when they come in. I want no more stupid debt in our lives or easy "money" options. I think buying a car is different, at least it's an investment. I was thrilled that we saved money & bought furniture, that really felt like one of the first adult things we've done in a long time.

Our monthly bills are under control for the first time in years, we don't find ourselves struggling & hoping to find Wholesale Insurance deals or anything. Yes, we pay for our health insurance (for the first time ever!) & have 2 auto policies (one is full coverage), but we manage to pay those off six months at a time. We're able to budget most everything we really want to do, like going to Sedona, completely without credit cards, or save up for it if we have enough time to plan ahead. I know we can afford to do this without too much pain, even with Rhi's bills on top of everything else, I just need to let go, breathe & make a plan.

Slowly Healing

My foot is finally almost done healing from the Litha stake incident, it's at the point where it's itching uncontrollably now, so I know I'll be as good as new soon (other than the scar).

Things have been somewhat odd this summer, as far as our friends go. Jason is out of work right now, so he's been around a lot, but depressed while he is. Ryan's been hyper-focused on his other group of friends & trying to get a girlfriend, so he isn't around much. It's like we can't even manage to plan a camping trip where everyone's schedules match up anymore. It's kind of making me sad.

In other stuff, I love my Zune & all, but I have been finding myself checking out ipods lately, just because of touch screens & bigger memory capacity, but I'm still undecided. It's not like I have a ton of extra money lying around at the moment anyway.

We're thinking of getting me a second car, one that is good on gas for running around, since my XTerra isn't, at all. It's great for camping and all of that, where we have to carry a bunch of stuff & need high ground clearance, but I burn through so much gas running around town that it's becoming a big burden. I want something small & still sporty, so we'll see what I can find around here that we may be able to get financing for, it may not even be something we can think about doing yet.

Good - But Bad - Day

Today started out okay, I slept really, really hard, got up & made coffee. I took my vitamins & such before I ate & was nauseated shortly after because of it, so I ate breakfast & started to get things ready to go for our Litha rights today. I was outside, setting up the ritual space & tripped on a metal stake thing that was sticking out of the ground. I tore my right foot open on top, from right above my toes up about 2-3 inches, and bruised part of it too. It hurt so bad I couldn't walk, or really think much, so I texted Troy & then Rhi, trying to get some help. I was crying uncontrollably while Troy cleaned it up for me & pretty sure the day was done.

Everyone got here on time, except for Ryan, but it was far too hot out there to do anything, so we waited until Ryan got here, did ritual and it was still too hot to be out there cooking. We waited a good long while and in the mean time made a bunch of seashell fairies for our personal altars. We went out & while Troy was cooking, Morgan wove the sunwheel. It turned out quite nice. Lyssa had a ball out playing in the yard, her playhouse & the sandbox.

We were all tired by the time we wrapped things up, so it shaped up into a much better day than I originally thought it would be. There are times when I wish I had some sort of a little memento to give people (like those military challenge coins) or something, just because the people in our lives make everything so worthwhile.

Anyway, I'm exhausted, hurting & ready for some downtime!

Summer is Here!

It's been mostly warm to hot here for a couple of weeks, just enough to let us know that the snow is over. I always feel such relief when we actually reach Summer on the calendar, because then I know that the chance of cold is mostly gone. I live in a pretty unpredictable place, so we never really can be certain.

I need to start thinking about Troy's birthday & our 20th anniversary in September, because I try to buy those gifts with my own money, because it makes it more meaningful, at least in my eyes. He uses his little iPod Shuffle an awful lot & I know he'd love one with more room & features, so I've been considering getting him an ipod touch 32, I just don't know if I have time to save up for it. I'm definitely going to try, though.

We have a lot of new expenditures coming up, with Rhi being out of jail only during the week & needing to pay to go back on the weekends, plus her therapy, which is court ordered, along with her fines, but we'll figure it out, one way or another. It's good to be alive & Summer is here, everything else is small stuff.

Relaxin' Time!

The house is clean, the laundry's done, I just need to take my shower and finish the wheelbarrow I'm painting & then I can relax for the rest of the day. I really, really blew my eating this past week & am trying to get back on top of it now. I will do this, without going to the doctor, without hgh supplements, without surgery. I'll keep doing what's been working & get back on the trail & back to the gym.

I'm tired of being the one with the biggest butt in my group of friends. I'm tired of being the one who loses the most weight & then gains it all back, I just want to reach my goal & stay there for the rest of my life. I'm sick of being fat.

Crazy.

We got some things accomplished this weekend, too, just not quite the same amount as last week. The old gazebo is taken down & moved out of the yard & we're getting ready to go out & do some measuring for some other things. I need to get the house cleaned up at some point today, before everyone gets here tonight for dinner & I'm in the middle of doing my laundry right now. We even went & saw Rhi yesterday morning, before we got started on everything else, which made her very happy. So busy, just not as crazy-busy as we were last week. We do also need to get the swamp cooler ready to turn on, too, since it's already getting pretty hot in the house.

I've decided that the reason I love my contacts is because I'm addicted to sunglasses. Everywhere we go that sells them, I find myself enthralled by them. I seriously need to shop online at someplace like nineapair cheap sunglasses, I swear to the gods!

Busy & Productive Weekend

Well, this was the first actual weekend of Troy's new shift, since last week, he was just coming off of vacation and it just kind of flowed together, so we couldn't see how it was going to be for us yet. On Tuesday (I think), I found a guy in St. George selling a nice looking couch & love seat set for less than $300. We made arrangements to go & look at them on Thursday evening & hopefully buy them. Ryan took us down there, we really liked them, so we started our weekend out with new furniture.

We slept in on Friday, got up, had breakfast & eventually made our way to the store to get groceries. We got all of that put away & then pretty much laid around on our couches, watched TV and did not much of anything. We did talk about going to the store to see what Big Lots had in the way of patio furniture, but we changed our minds when I saw that Ghost Adventures was showing an episode on the Tooele hospital, which is where my grandpa died. We watched that and then some Whale Wars, then GA again and back to Whale Wars.

Saturday was super-busy. We went out looking for patio furniture, decided our best bet was Walmart, so we headed there, decided we needed a truck for the actual furniture, so we started a prescription for Troy & wandered around a bit, shopping for a new vacuum & a table for me to use for outdoor rituals. We didn't buy them then, we were in a hurry & needed to meet Ryan back here to get rid of our old couch & love seat. So we finished up, ran out to mom & dad's, borrowed his truck & went & got our furniture set. When we brought it home, we found out the old furniture had already been taken & Ryan had just done it himself. So, we took the truck back, went & got our vacuum, the table & a firepit and came home. We watched The Hangover and then we decided to recharge my a/c in my car & got that done. I got ready to turn the sprinklers on for the first time this year & we discovered a broken line. Thankfully, it isn't too far from the surface, but we'll have to dig it out to even see what we need to buy to replace it with, so I turned on the hose & a little sprinkler we found out back earlier.

Today, I need to clean house & get ready for our friends to come over for dinner, which will take awhile, since I had absolutely no time to clean while Troy was off, let alone time to waste time looking at life insurance online quotes, so I think this new shift is going to be just fine. It was really nice having Troy home on payday for a change!

Went too Fast

Troy's vacation days went by far too quickly, if you ask me. I know a lot of couples don't really enjoy spending time together & can't wait for the vacation to end so they can escape each other, but we aren't like that. We actually love spending time together, and I get so sad when it's time for him to go back to work. He doesn't have to work until tomorrow night, but I'm already starting to get a little blue about it.

I realize that if he was a Texas Work Injury Attorney, or one anywhere, I'd rarely see him, he'd be busy working all of his billable hours, trying to climb further & further in the work food chain, so, in that sense, I do have it good, since he works 3-4 days a weeks & then has the same amount off. I guess I'm just spoiled, and cherish all of the time I get with him, no matter when I get it. Thankfully, his schedule just changed & he has Thursday-Saturday off now, with every other Sunday, too!

Tired. Still.

Wow, I'll be happy when I don't wake up exhausted anymore. This trip really took it out of me. I honestly didn't expect that to be the case, I swear, I'd start taking human growth hormone, if I thought that would wake me up a bit. Today, we went to Beth's 4th birthday party, we didn't stay long, it was windy & cold & she was off playing anyway. Too much excitement to really want to hang out with the grown ups, besides my folks' goat had babies yesterday & I wanted to get out there & see them.

They were very tiny & very, very cute, trying to stay out of the wind. The boy was in a nest of sagebrush, completely hidden & the little girl was kind of sheltered, but very visible, we bugged her enough that she went & found her brother. We visited awhile & then, because I couldn't stop yawning, I decided it was time to come home. Tomorrow is the weekly Sunday dinner we have with our friends & then it's back to real world for us.

Well Worth the Effort

The trip to Sedona was worth every bit of preparation, worry & stress that went into it & I'm pretty sure that everyone who went will agree with that. We did exactly as we wanted to during the whole time, with all of us agreeing on what we wanted to do each day and Troy & I bought what we wanted, didn't worry about it & still came home left from our vacation fund & his paycheck, with no need for a payday loan to tide us over to the next payday. It was very nice to be that prepared and not have to stress out about money for once. It was definitely the way to go & how I plan to prepare our finances for any upcoming trips we take. No worry = more fun!

Thought We Were Done

Just when I thought my need to find unique baby gifts was done for the year, a friend tells us that his brand new wife is expecting twins in December. I've already decided that I'll crochet up a bunch of gender neutral, matching sets of booties, and maybe make a couple of snuggle sacks, but other than that, I have no clue. I've used up all of my creativity on the last three babies I've bought gifts for. It's different when it's your friend, you know? Rather than your friends' kids, or their friends or just young people you've seen grow up, or maybe it's just me, but it does make a difference to me & what I might give them. I'll actually need to put some serious thought into this, so I guess it's a good thing that I have time!

Getting Ready

We leave for Sedona in 9 days, and I seem to have so much to do in between now & then, not even including the stuff we have to do the day & night before. There is a little stress involved, especially since we have to have a friend of Rhi's come & stay at the house to take care of the pets (she's in jail for at least 19 more days), and I always get nervous when I'm not in control of certain key parts of my life or trip or what have you. In my heart, I know it'll work out, but I'm nervous & worried that it won't & I won't get to go.

Anyway, we were only unable to get a couple of things we wanted for this trip, like cell signal boosters and a new sleeping bag, but that's okay, everything will be fine. We can borrow a bag from Ryan again and probably won't be that concerned about our phones once we get there and all. I know I'll be fine as soon as we leave the state, right now, I'm just jittery.

Tired of It All

I'm so tired of struggling with my weight, fighting my food addiction & having to think about it every minute of every day of my life. It feels like a losing battle, and I'm beginning that horrible slide back up in weight & I can't handle that thought. I'm so tired of feeling helpless in the face of food, and knowing that it truly does control my life, I don't control it. I'd run out, cave in & buy some lipozene, but I know, for me, it'd just be more wasted money on something that isn't going to work for me.

I'm looking into support groups & 12-step programs, because at this point, I know I can't do it alone anymore. I'm tired of the fight, tired of hating myself and tired of struggling. It's time.

Crazy Days

Well, I've started speaking to my parents again, granted nothing has been said about the months when I wasn't & I'm sure there never will be. My family are experts at ignoring things, after all. They have a new lap top & internet access again, so we had to go over & help them figure their email out, I'm not sure why it wasn't working before, but Troy got it situated. They introduced us to their new dog, Cricket, we visited with each other for awhile & talked about Medicare part D plans, my brothers, my niece, our kids and their friends & church. It was a pretty good visit. My dad took Rhi fishing last week, and she got to spend time with both of them, too. So, all for the best, at least this way, I have no regrets when their time here is over, you know?

Getting Ready

We've all been busily preparing for our little trip. Dawn & Jason thought they weren't going to get to go on it, due to finances, but we got together & changed the plans a bit & came up with something that wouldn't cost them as much. Troy seems to be balking a bit now, so who knows if we'll actually make it on the trip or end up staying home, at this point, I'm almost not even caring anymore.

I don't know how much rv repair & upkeep Ryan got to do on his RV, so he may end up borrowing his mom's again, which I'm sure she won't mind, but I know he wanted to have his up & running for the trip. We don't seem to talk much these days, I think he's trying to grow a relationship with a girl he's been hanging out with, which is fine, as long as he doesn't forget about all of us again.

Anyway, we're getting ready to go in May, most of us seem to be looking forward to it, so we'll see what happens.

Tough Times

We had a bit of a rough time with Rhi when she got home, I don't know what it was, maybe the fact that she wasn't supposed to be drinking or anything, but she went kind of crazy & started drinking, excessively, every day. I mean, to the point of passing out & getting sick while she was unconscious. Very dangerous. I really don't know what finally got through to her, whether it was us being so upset with her, her nearly losing her best friend or realizing how close she was coming to dying, but she stopped drinking on Wednesday. We had a really long talk with her about the rules of the house and what we aren't going to be dealing with anymore. She agreed to our terms & started AA on Thursday. She's been two days in a row, plans to go every day.

I want to trust her. I want to believe this is the end, but I do understand the addiction cycle & I know she's in for a long road. I do have faith that she can overcome this & will if she believes in herself enough. Keep her in your thoughts, she can use all of the positive energy the Universe can muster at this point, and so can we.

Lazy

I've been so lazy lately, I don't know what's up with that. I need to put my laundry away, because I really need to put the dirty stuff in the hamper (where my clean clothes are currently), so I can actually wash some pants for the weekend. Instead, I'm just piddling around, not really doing much of anything. I did manage to put the clean dishes away today & put the dirty ones in the dishwasher, and even made the bed, but honestly, it's like I've spent three days reading about all of the carpet cleaners raleigh nc has to offer, you know? Time passes, but I can't really say what I've done with it. It's not like there was all that much that I actually needed to be doing, but it still makes me feel guilty to know I haven't done that much this week, other than a few crafts & such.

Jumping for Joy!

We went to court with Rhi this morning, and after a nearly 2 hour wait, she plead guilty to two counts (the lesser ones), she was granted a pre-sentencing investigation (to find out any mitigating circumstances as to why she should not be incarcerated, like her mental illness) and was released on her own recognizance until sentencing. She was told she had to get a mental health screening and have an appointment by next week, so we'll go take care of that tomorrow, and to get her PSI scheduled before end of business tomorrow (we took care of that as soon as she was released from jail).

So, she's home, at least until May 10. She may have to serve 180 days, but that's a lot less than 15 years, and she'd be at county jail, where we can visit her. It's just good to have her back, and she seems so happy to be here, too. She got very emotional when she saw the house & everything turning green, I know she thought she'd never see any of it again. So, no more sitting around, reading oxyelite pro reviews just to keep from going crazy. I think we're all going to be okay now.

Bad Grammar Vexes Me So

I was on Facebook this morning - okay, every day, most of the day - and one of the people on my friends' list (I say this, because they aren't really a friend, just someone who added me, because they needed more friends for games or I was on the lost of someone they knew, or whatever, at any rate, I don't actually know them, because I'd have said something if I did) and they posted a status message that said, "looking for great mother day gifts for my mom & gram, any ideas?" My mind shifted to "Why are you calling my mom "Mother Day?" since that is my mom's last name, then went to "That should be capitalized." and then, I realized what they were really saying, and trust me, English is this person's first language, so there was no excuse. I could say maybe they weren't that great at typing, but nothing else was misspelled, so I have to assume they are one of those people who also say "Valentime's." and I'll just move on with my life, bite my tongue & try not to make waves. But vex me, it does.